I have a headache. I have had it for 6 weeks. Yesterday I had a blood test and tomorrow I'm having a brain scan. The doctor said he didn't expect any problems to show up on these tests but he is just being thorough and ruling things out. A while ago my counsellor asked me if didn't find it strange that in all the time since I was diagnosed with cancer my mum or sisters had never given me a hug or sat and cried with me. It does not seem strange in terms of my family as we are not like that. Though, I can sort-of see it is strange based on the impression I get of what families are like from what I have seen on television. But there was no use saying it to me. Surely she needs to say it to them. But, of course, she's treating me not them so she can't. Today I would like a hug.
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Super Contributor
Allicat ... sending hugssss your way It is difficult with family and friends, or at least I found it that way. I always felt like they were dealing with enough by looking after me and also dealing with their own grief as such. For me also it was a whirlwind of appointments which meant travelling a lot due to being a country patient. In the early days I slept so much also, so not really a whole heap of time left by the time I slept 14 hours a day. Television families are great as are the romantic illusions that are often painted with having cancer and treatment. Of course for some it may be that way and yet I suspect for most of us not! hugsss again Julie
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Contributor
Hey there Allicat! Loads of hugs coming your way tonight!! My family have been amazing emotional and financial support, whereas my husband's family have been better at practical tasks. I can't imagine doing this journey without the support of my family, so I feel for you that this is not a reality for you.....maybe just come out and ask?!? I'm about at the point where if you'll listen, I'll talk, regardless of who you are or how well you know me, a by product of caring for my husband for four years, in need of an outlet maybe? I think I am rambling but just know that we all send hugs whenever, just ask!! Take care! PA
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Contributor
Thanks guys! My family are great and they do support me it's just they are not given to displays of emotion or affection. Last Sunday evening I went over to my parents' house when they weren't expecting me and I felt really happy because I saw the smile that my mum gave when she saw me. I did get one hug today from a friend who I have known for 10 years and has never hugged me before. So that was nice.
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Contributor
Hi Allicat I am a hugger of wide renown from way back! It's wondrous what a hug can do, A hug can cheer you when you're blue. A hug can say, "I love you so.", Or, "Gee! I hate to see you go." A hug is, "Welcome back again." This Hug Is Meant For You A hug can soothe a small child's pain, And bring a rainbow after rain. The hug! There's just no doubt about it, We scarcely could survive without it. A hug delights and warms and charms, It must be why God gave us arms. Hugs are great for fathers and mothers, Sweet for sisters, swell for brothers, And chances are some uncles and aunts Love them more than potted plants. Kittens crave them. Puppies love them. Heads of state are not above them. A hug can break the language barrier, And make the dullest day seem merrier. No need to fret about the store of them, The more you give, the more there are of them. So stretch those arms without delay And give someone a hug today. So I am sending the biggest, warmest (((HUGS))) to you, from Pamela 🙂
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Contributor
Hi there Allicat! Maybe by putting it out there that you needed a hug....the universe provided..... More hugs from here to you!! PA
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Occasional Contributor
Allicat Big HUGS to YOU All families have their own culture and maybe hugging hasn't been part of yours but cultures can change. Maybe if you asked for a hug you might find there are family members only too happy to oblige. HUGS from all of us anyway! Rikki
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Contributor
Thanks for all the hugs! I feel very comforted. The results from the Brain CT and Blood Test were normal apart from still having a low while cell count. The doctor suggests taking panadol for a week - he said it might be "a migrainey type thing". I found some panadol in the cupboard so I will try that. I am also wondering if my headache is actually due to stress or depression. I made an appointment with my counsellor for tomorrow.
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Contributor
Hi Allicat Are you eating ok? I have found that headaches can be from low blood sugar. Also I take honey to ease pain (it just takes the edge off and makes it more bearable) and also to help me sleep. Taken like medicine - a teaspoon washed down with water. It may not work for everyone, but it does for me. I have been told it is all in my mind but as long as it helps I am happy to continue. I have had good results with it for all sorts of problems over the last 40 years. Sending heaps more (((hugs))), Pamela 🙂
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Super Contributor
Sending you a (((((hug)))))!
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Super Contributor
Sending you a (((((hug)))))!
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Super Contributor
All families are different and all members of the same family are different in some ways .Shows of affection can vary as much too . Too much hugging can be as strange as none . I hope your headache is gone soon and it's not due to anything sisister . Years ago I had one that lasted for 18 months . It was there every day but sometimes less intense . It turned out to be caused by stress at work .
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Contributor
Thanks Silly. How did you eventually get over your work-stress headache? I saw my counsellor on Tuesday and she said it's from stress. We wrote down some instructions about taking relaxing baths, listening to Enya and not pushing myself so hard. It all sounded sensible at the time and a bit less so once I got home. But I will try it. She also said that I coped "too well" during treatment and now it's catching up with me. I guess she means that I bottled stuff up earlier. I don't feel like I did but I know I have done that with other things in the past so maybe she's right. I still have a headache but not quite as bad. I remember a couple of months ago there were a couple of days at work where two of my workmates were driving me mad asking me questions all day. I think maybe that was the final straw that triggered the headache. So, in that case does it mean it's work-stress not post-cancer-stress? I guess it can be a combination of both. Anyway, I have one more day of work and then I am on annual leave for 6 weeks! In one week from now I will be on a plane on my way to Chicago. Hopefully having a holiday and a change from the routine will be good for curing both my headache and stress.
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Super Contributor
I qUit working .After a few months got bored and went back doing only relief work ,in various new locations . I continued this for 13 years . I did take up new things ,walking ,glass painting for a little while ,line dancing . I had no real pressures ,apart from feeling like a failure . Eventually the headache went away. The feeling of being a failure took years to go away . As with your's ,I never put it down to stress at first because it started during the night when we were away for a weekend and I thought it was something to do with the airconditioner in the motel. I woke up a few times feeling unwell.
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Contributor
Hi Allicat Usually the mind can only cope with a certain amount of pain at one time. One feeling can over-ride others. My friend has terrible chronic back pain, suffering for over 25 years. I simply rub/massage his feet. He tells me his mind focuses on the relaxing feeling in his feet and for a while does not have any pain focus. It may have some sort of acupressure effect. He can often sleep comfortably afterwards. Any relief is good. Do you have someone who would try this for you? It may help, even if only temporarily, which is better than not at all. And to Silly: Feelings are hard to manage, but none of us are failures. It is awful that it stayed around so long for you. I tend to be practical and question myself as to whether feelings are true or false. I also don't believe that feelings stay, reflecting on the biblical verses (over 600 of them) which commence - 'And it came to pass...' - taking that to mean it has not come to stay. Warm hugs to you both, Pamela 😉
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Super Contributor
Pamela, the belief that I failed is still strong but it doesn't make me feel as bad as it did .
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