I am caring for a stage 4 cancer patient with liver tumours... has survived for 12 months with radio and chemo.. is now on more chemo for the next 6 months if lucky. Going gets tough as I have no family support.
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My wife of 40yrs was dx with colorectal primary with secondaries in her liver. As a carer it is not easy. My wife used to say, it was easier for her because she was in this place, and it was dfficult for me as I was outside looking in. I gave up my work to look after her, it was very important to me that she got the best care, that we got to all the appointments on time, and we did everything we could. After the op on the primary, she had chemo every 2 weeks, 48 cycles in all.I was with her all the time. She passed away 21dec. You just have to be there for them and do whatever you can.When I look back now, I know that I did whatever I could, there is nothing that I regret not doing. We used to sit down in the afternoon for an hour for 2 yrs, I used to gently rub a moisturiser into her feet to ward of the chemo side effect of dry skin. Just be there for them, you will not regret it. wombat4
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Wombat is right. Being there is the most important thing you can do for both of you. It will be incredibly tough, but you are doing the right thing. When my daughter was sick I surrounded myself with a team to keep me going so I could help her keep going. I had a team of: GP, Cancer Council phone counsellor, local social worker, massage therapist, priest,a few close friends who COULD cope with me ( don't waste time or energy on dear friends who mean well , but cant cut it). It is a tough journey , but something very special. I too recall rubbing my daughters hands to calm her down while she was having her chemo. Simple things like a preferred drink, a bendy straw to drink with, lukewarm water instead of cold, some aromatherapy oils. You will work it out for your friend and what they need. Keep coming back to this site for support and encouragement. Cheers Mignon
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Hi there! Good luck and positive vibes coming your way....... I care for my husband who has a rare peritoneum cancer...... That has affected pretty much all the organs in his peritoneum..... Life is so tough at times, but don't forget to appreciate the small victories and they may be small......and be fleeting, but it is so important to acknowledge them, they somehow make the hard days bearable...... We have made a conscious effort to say to each other, THIS moment is great! THIS moment we are 'normal'............ Even if it only lasts minutes.....we are grateful for it......but it has taken three years to get to this point....... And some days are revolting and rubbish!!!! PA
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We are trying to live a 'normal' life and still manage to get out at times, but the daily struggle gets me down sometimes... but the alternative is not to good!! He was given 3-6 months 13 months ago so at least we have a little more time. Good to read these posts and your comments as you and the others do understand. Thank you Splinter.
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Mignon, I was so hurt by a close family member who is just not interested, and some friends, I thought at 1st it was that they couldn`t cope, but I think some are just 'not bothered'.. but I have had some incredible acts of kindness come my way from those least expected!! I am a bright cheery person and try to keep it all going... but the 'black dog' does rear its ugly head, and I am finding that hard to cope with. Thank you for your thoughts and kind comments and advice. Splinter.
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Mignon, I was so hurt by a close family member who is just not interested, and some friends, I thought at 1st it was that they couldn`t cope, but I think some are just 'not bothered'.. but I have had some incredible acts of kindness come my way from those least expected!! I am a bright cheery person and try to keep it all going... but the 'black dog' does rear its ugly head, and I am finding that hard to cope with. Thank you for your thoughts and kind comments and advice. Splinter.
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It is very difficult to see a loved one go through all of this. Try not to let it get you down, there are many many more in a similar situation. Live as normal life as is possible. Nobody asks to be put in this situation, we just find ourselves in it one day. 2yrs ago my wife was given 4 weeks, so on that prognosis, your husband should have a few more years yet. Take care wombat4
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Thank you Wombat, Those comments are comforting, my husband has been amazing fighting this disease, he has other issues, shingles for 5 years, and is much older than I, but he keeps going on. Had chemo today, and has a pump in disconnection on Wednesday. He is coping well, although he has now gone to bed as he is very tired. Once again thanks for your comments. Splinter.
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hi splinter im still a newbie to caring for a cancer patient (as an adult anyway) i went through this with my mother when i was 13 (lymphatic cancer) and now my father while im 26 (mouth cancer) ive lost almost all my friends (i only really have 2 left) because they cant understand just how hard it can be on someone to do the things we do as carers. i bend over backwards to do everything i can for my dad and its a hard job that was kind of thrown on me by my family though i wouldnt have it any other way its brought me closer to my dad then i ever imagined especially after not getting a lot of time with my mother. there are good times and hard times... but its going to be the good times you remember forever. Manda
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You are doing a wonderful Job, and you are so young, I am older and have been through much I also had to care for my mother, until she went into care at the ripe old age of 89, she died at 91 two years ago. My husband ( for whom I am now caring) is 18 years older than I, and he became ill whilst Mum was still alive.. I am an only child, I have two children, one interstate, and one here the local one is not interested... too much trouble, but the interstate family, gives me moral support, as do my bunch of friends. It must be difficult for you as you as your friends around your age just can`t understand the hard work and pain you go through. Just remember we are all thinking of you and wishing positive thoughts and life will become easier. We are all here for you. xxxx Splinter.
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You are doing a wonderful Job, and you are so young, I am older and have been through much I also had to care for my mother, until she went into care at the ripe old age of 89, she died at 91 two years ago. My husband ( for whom I am now caring) is 18 years older than I, and he became ill whilst Mum was still alive.. I am an only child, I have two children, one interstate, and one here the local one is not interested... too much trouble, but the interstate family, gives me moral support, as do my bunch of friends. It must be difficult for you as you as your friends around your age just can`t understand the hard work and pain you go through. Just remember we are all thinking of you and wishing positive thoughts and life will become easier. We are all here for you. xxxx Splinter.
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You are doing a wonderful Job, and you are so young, I am older and have been through much I also had to care for my mother, until she went into care at the ripe old age of 89, she died at 91 two years ago. My husband ( for whom I am now caring) is 18 years older than I, and he became ill whilst Mum was still alive.. I am an only child, I have two children, one interstate, and one here the local one is not interested... too much trouble, but the interstate family, gives me moral support, as do my bunch of friends. It must be difficult for you as you as your friends around your age just can`t understand the hard work and pain you go through. Just remember we are all thinking of you and wishing positive thoughts and life will become easier. We are all here for you. xxxx Splinter.
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You are doing a wonderful Job, and you are so young, I am older and have been through much I also had to care for my mother, until she went into care at the ripe old age of 89, she died at 91 two years ago. My husband ( for whom I am now caring) is 18 years older than I, and he became ill whilst Mum was still alive.. I am an only child, I have two children, one interstate, and one here the local one is not interested... too much trouble, but the interstate family, gives me moral support, as do my bunch of friends. It must be difficult for you as you as your friends around your age just can`t understand the hard work and pain you go through. Just remember we are all thinking of you and wishing positive thoughts and life will become easier. We are all here for you. xxxx Splinter.
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You are doing a wonderful Job, and you are so young, I am older and have been through much I also had to care for my mother, until she went into care at the ripe old age of 89, she died at 91 two years ago. My husband ( for whom I am now caring) is 18 years older than I, and he became ill whilst Mum was still alive.. I am an only child, I have two children, one interstate, and one here the local one is not interested... too much trouble, but the interstate family, gives me moral support, as do my bunch of friends. It must be difficult for you as you as your friends around your age just can`t understand the hard work and pain you go through. Just remember we are all thinking of you and wishing positive thoughts and life will become easier. We are all here for you. xxxx Splinter.
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You are doing a wonderful Job, and you are so young, I am older and have been through much I also had to care for my mother, until she went into care at the ripe old age of 89, she died at 91 two years ago. My husband ( for whom I am now caring) is 18 years older than I, and he became ill whilst Mum was still alive.. I am an only child, I have two children, one interstate, and one here the local one is not interested... too much trouble, but the interstate family, gives me moral support, as do my bunch of friends. It must be difficult for you as you as your friends around your age just can`t understand the hard work and pain you go through. Just remember we are all thinking of you and wishing positive thoughts and life will become easier. We are all here for you. xxxx Splinter.
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You are doing a wonderful Job, and you are so young, I am older and have been through much I also had to care for my mother, until she went into care at the ripe old age of 89, she died at 91 two years ago. My husband ( for whom I am now caring) is 18 years older than I, and he became ill whilst Mum was still alive.. I am an only child, I have two children, one interstate, and one here the local one is not interested... too much trouble, but the interstate family, gives me moral support, as do my bunch of friends. It must be difficult for you as you as your friends around your age just can`t understand the hard work and pain you go through. Just remember we are all thinking of you and wishing positive thoughts and life will become easier. We are all here for you. xxxx Splinter.
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You are doing a wonderful Job, and you are so young, I am older and have been through much I also had to care for my mother, until she went into care at the ripe old age of 89, she died at 91 two years ago. My husband ( for whom I am now caring) is 18 years older than I, and he became ill whilst Mum was still alive.. I am an only child, I have two children, one interstate, and one here the local one is not interested... too much trouble, but the interstate family, gives me moral support, as do my bunch of friends. It must be difficult for you as you as your friends around your age just can`t understand the hard work and pain you go through. Just remember we are all thinking of you and wishing positive thoughts and life will become easier. We are all here for you. xxxx Splinter.
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