Saying hi, new to C.C.

[Elizabeth_255]

Hi everyone, my name is Elizabeth. I have joined one of these sites before, not quite sure yet how it works, or how to navigate, so any help would be great. I am early 60's, and over the last 10 years, we have travelled the cancer journey with my husband - prostate, lung, brain, now lung, possibly cancer. At the same time my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, and lost her battle 2 1/2 years ago. I had bowel cancer 4 years ago. I joined this Group because i feel burnt out, exhausted and i think very stressed, anxious, and there seem to be so few resources,help for families and carers of cancer patients. I wanted to investigate how others cope, feel, strategies for living and coming through the other side intact. Thanks, elizabeth

[little_stitcher]

Welcome Elizabeth! This is a great place to ask questions, share experiences and just vent to people who know where you're coming from. It sounds like you've definitely had more than your fair share of dealings with cancer- I'm not suprised that you're exhausted. Sending hugs over the net, Emily. xx

[Elizabeth_255]

Hi Emily. Thank you so much for replying. Yep it has been a long journey and i guess overwhelming really. Emotionally i'm feeling a bit like an immature 12 year old and this frightens me. I am accustomed to being filled with energy, comptent, innovative and reliable, but it feels like it's been ebbing away now for quite some time. Losing my sister was a huge kick. Have been living with this for so long it's as though i can't feel, grieve anymore. I am fearful i have become a vegetable, unable to show compassion, and just a robotic being. Cancer can be such a very lonely journey. Thanks Emily, i hope you are ok, and your Journey is not proving too daunting for you. I have never been on a blog thingo before, so i am not sure about what i'm doing. Lol. Need some assistance and patience from other members! Thank you for your kindness. Xx

[Elizabeth_255]

Hi Emily. I did reply to you before, but think i replied in wrong place.

[little_stitcher]

Hi Elizabeth, I am doing well now, although it has been a long road. My husband was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma in April 2011. He has 6 months of chemo, and is just about to celebrate 2 years in remission. I was 'fine' during the chemo, in survival mode, really, but fell apart once chemo had finished and we were supposed to return to our normal lives (but it's never really like that, is it?) I had 12 months of counselling, which also uncovered a life-long anxiety disorder, and am now on the other side of that process. My husband is well, and I'm feeling much more peaceful and optimistic than I was before. Be kind to yourself- you've been through so much, in many different relationships in your life. I wish I could give you a mental holiday! xx

[Elizabeth_255]

Mmmm, i think you gear up during treatment, stay strong, but afterward just kind of collapse from theconcern, worry, doing too much and wondering about the future. We were also trying to get myson through school, and 4 weeks after myhusband finished radiation therapy, my son's lung collapsed and he was rushed to hospital ina bad way. 5 months later - Year 11 it collapsed again and he was operated on. It was about time of black saturday bushfires. The damage to the brain of radiation leaves your loved one changed and different. That is also difficult to adjust to. You have to get to know the same person who is not really the same anymore. I hope things keep goung ok for you, and please, please look aftet self. Keep those who understand, don't judge, close to you, get enough rest, and try not to overtax self. I have not done those things, ihave not followed my own suggestions. Ihave paid a high price. Now i am an elderly lost child! LOL. It's like I have forgotten how to be me, how to live. Crazy!i am embarrassed. Take care dear girl. Xxxx ,

[Elizabeth_255]

Oh Emily, meant to say thank you - i think anxiety is what might be the problem. Did you have panic attacks, and were you afraid being around people? This is relatively new for me, and it is uncomfortable. I remembered too a couple of other things that have added to the angst of the journey. My husbands very first chemo session 6 years ago killed him- anaphylactic shock. They brought him back to life. After first surgery, he was sent home with pneumonia, and we nearly lost him then. He was rushed back to hospital where a nurse worked all night keeping him alive. He was sent home with stitches still in, and they infected. Just one darn thing after another. Lol. A holiday would be nice! Take care, thank you for listening, allowing me the safety to share. You'r very kind. Xx