There is so much to take in and so much going on in my head. Trying to stay positive, but also worrying about the worst. The ticking of that time bomb clock seems to get louder at night. It's often a see-saw from one emotion to the other. Your perspective on what is important in life can change so quickly. At least on here we can relate to each other on how you feel, and I know myself with sleep issues someone saying to you "you just need to relax" really doesn't help, it just makes you scream inside. I am setting myself short term goals. I don't lock anything in for certain until closer to the date, but I make plans in my head for the next month or so. According to the doctors my "expiration date" is in 7 weeks. I feel like a packet of food that has a use by date stamped on it. I feel that I am doing well, and I am going to be here for quite a while yet. I still have many things to do. I have my 40th birthday in November. I think I will have a big party. That will be something to celebrate. I am silly for setting goals to far ahead??
3 Comments
Super Contributor
I can only imagine what you must be feeling but of course I don't know. I think you are now entitled to do what you want,think or feel. I think you can make your own rules .Your children must be a high priority and staying positive,despite some negative emotions , must be good for you and them.
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Frequent Contributor
November is not too far ahead, Loulou. Plan the party! What a great idea. And forget about staying positive. What a load of crap that is. H
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Occasional Contributor
I saw a quote that I really like. I am not dying with cancer. I intend to to live with cancer for as long as I can. So far this year, I have been to Fiji, hot air ballooning, jet boating and on a cruise with my husband, children and sister. We made sure we took lots of family pics. All of these new experiences were plans for "one day". So I finally got my act together and decided if not now then when? I particularly want my kids to be able to remember the fun times, not just the tough days. Each time I take the leap and book something I then have a goal to push myself for. I need to prove the doctors expiration date in August wrong. I'm just not ready yet. We have Fathers Day in September, My Daughters birthday in October. So maybe a party in November and I also want to go to Christmas Carols at the Domayne in Sydney. I have never been, so I guess this is the year to plan it. I guess I just stepped up my small goals to big wishes.
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