I selected the picture of the man with the green cap to be my on-line face. The particular green hat he's wearing reminds me of a very similar hat I bought when my hair fell out two years ago. I remember being very cold that winter -'07 - as I had lost a lot of weight, had sores, boils and puncture marks all over, and generally felt like crap. I bought the hat for nine dollars as it was unusual, all cotton and was stretchy.
I wore it once. My wife smiled at me when I donned it and gave her my look, but it made me feel like an exhibit. That wasn't what she intended, I know that, but I distinctly remember feeling something stab into me. Here I was living the cancer cliche of covering up 'chemo baldness' with a funny hat.
Soon after my family - parents, siblings, children, 27 of us - went away to a bush retreat for a weekend. Lots of fun and we'd never had a clan gathering like that before. I had two brothers out from the States where they live, so that was special.
By the end of the second day I was sick of people taking photos of me. I knew they didn't mean to be invasive, but it was really obvious that one by one my extended family were trying to get photos of me smiling. I didn't say anything. I'm too polite and passive. But I knew they were wanting to have a nice photo of me in case I wasn't there any more. I felt a bit like an exhibit then.
So, I never wore that green hat again. Until now.
I do have a cashmere golf cap, which I love to death. I prefer that. I'm not an exhibit in that. Putting on a show, maybe, but not an exhibit.
