So as an update of what's been happening for the past two weeks, my boyfriend was scheduled to have his tumor removed on the 20th. I was supposed to stay with him until the 15th (this was before we knew then the surgery was going to take place) but stayed with him until the 19th because I had to come back to take my exams. Of course I felt horrible having to leave him, but after a lot of convincing by my parents, his and him personally, I dragged myself back home and took my exams. I was on the phone with him non-stop, his surgery got pushed back until the afternoon that day, and after the surgery I was supposed to get an update about the situation from his parents. I must tell you, the last days were horrible. I couldn't get in touch with anybody, his phone was turned off and basically all I could do was wait, pray and hope he got out in one piece and that the surgery was successful. I couldn't even sleep or eat and I was crying around the clock, worried sick and angry at myself..hell, I hated myself because I let them convince me to leave when I knew I should have been there.
For the first time, though, I let someone talk to me about my worries and I told them everything I had in my soul and I am forever grateful that she listened to me. She stopped me every time I would even begin to think something bad happened and pulled me through these 5 days almost where I felt like I was going crazy.
But there is light at the end of the tunnel. As of a few hours ago, my boyfriend woke up, he had his parents call me immediately and the surgery was successful. So he is ok. He is getting better. And I don't even know who to thank, I truly am so grateful to whoever in this Universe gave him a second chance.
If you're reading this, please take my word for it..NEVER ever lose hope. Never try and bottle up all that you're feeling, ask for help, if you feel like you can't find the strenght to take care of your mental well being, talk to somebody. But most importantly, just know that there are miracles that can happen even in the darkest of times.
I am overwhelmed by emotions, I wish this feeling on everybody that suffers from the same monster or stands by their loved ones and helps them through this. You are stronger than you see yourself to be and I appreciate you, you are my examples in life, you deserve all the happiness in the world and I am here for you.
I will continue to write blogs here and continue to read other people's stories. You are inspiring, I truly respect and deeply appreciate everyone here. For me, you represent strenght, hope and light.
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