Waiting

[Emma_Gardner]

I have found this to be a very hard week at present, as I find it hard to remain patient and not lose my temper, full well knowing that the doctors are doing their very best to plan my attack for me. The best thing about this week is the realization that I am well loved. I know that my family and Andrews family love me dearly, but it's those that surround us on a daily basis that I never thought would think about me let alone care so much. The first thing that happened this week was that at the medical centre where I used to work where many dear friends are, they learnt that I had chosen the oral chemo version of treatment as it would be less invasive, less noticeable - especially for the girls, (no Picu line), smaller risk of infection, little affect on my heart ifnany, but it costs a lot as not yet approved by the powers that be. deb and Trudy and a few others have taken it upon themselves to help us pay for it. Now I no longer work there but I must have made an impression as they care deeply about me, and are going to all lengths to help us. For this I will be forever thankful. Secondly a man at the girls school ( he is the crossing guard at the school), he and I have been chatting every day now for this year and have a friendly banter going usually about the bulldogs flogging some other team, or other stuff. Now Chris must have noticed that I must have looked a little down and probably not so bubbly as usual. So one day he asked me what was wrong. I told him about everything to which he started to get a little teary. He gave me a lovely hug and hoped that all will be ok in time. Two days later Chris wrote me a poem , entitled " A friend's wishful sigh", this completely broke me down as I starting sobbing at the school crossing. Such a wonderful poem. I will share it with you soon. Our wonderful neighbors organized a fan to be out into our home to help dry out from under the house, so that the moisture spores don't hurt me once treatment starts. Then other people whom I have never met, start sending us gift vouchers that will help us a we go along this journey. My thanks goes out to those people whom I only know as Sue from Baringa Private Hospital and a special lady at Mum and Graeme's church. A dear friend of Andrew's from Sydney has come up for the week to spend time encouraging and cheering us up. Love you lots Macca. Then today I receive a phone call from a special couple in my life, the parents of my beloved late brother in law Nathan, whom I love dearly. They cheered me up no end, and it's so nice to know they are thinking of me too. Then today my old boss, from Tamworth, Copperart, where I started work as a fourteen year old comes to visit us at home on his way back through from Queensland to Dungog. Then receive a lovely card and gift from Step sister, my lovely Michelle that tells me not to forget that she loves me very much. Keeley's teacher sent me a wonderful little book titled " be strong" ( two little words that mean a lot to me as they were the last words Nathan said to his children, my nieces and nephew) filled with many encouraging words to help me along. A student of mine brought me veges from her own garden to help us , such a wonderful blessing to have her as a friend. In between all this Andrew and i have received many an encouraging call, text and emails and many a neighborly visit seeing if theres anything that they can do to help and wishing us all the best and to continue to fight hard. If anyone doubts the state in which this world is in , let them come to me and I will tell them that I am surrounded by love and nurturing and that there is lots of good things in this world. I will leave you with two pieces from Louise's book , Surround yourself with people who believe you can And Lend me your hope for a while. A time will come when I will heal and I will lend my renewed hope to others. Love to you all Emma