I'm writing because I want to know the answer to that question. Sometimes I am so close to knowing I can reach out and grab it, other times it has vanished inside a fog of chemicals, memories, daily routines and tiredness. So I'm writing to try and reconnect with what I really think. I doesn't matter quite where I start, either. I've found along the way that for me it's best to just start writing and see what happens. It's like putting the kettle on. Well, sometimes I do forget to put water in and we all know what happens then. But mostly I get a cuppa out of it. I am really noticing a big change at the moment. I am quite happy to be on my own. I don't feel I need to be running out the door all the time to get involved in social things, keeping in touch with a wide range of people, sharing an abstract idea of what an extended family should be. I really am quite comfortable just sitting within myself a lot of the time. And because that hasn't been the case for me over the years I'm relishing it now. It really is a good healthy feeling. I try and eat well, read, write, keep close to my few intimate male friends and pay attention to my relationship with my wife. It's so different for her since I got sick. She has a lot of adjusting to do. I'm enjoying making some space for her to do that. I'm happy working within my energy levels and enjoying what comes along day to day. I think I'm doing OK right now. That's what i think. I'm glad I've got that down. H
3 Comments
Regular Contributor
It sounds like a pretty good place to be Harker. I too often find that the time spent alone is one of relief and it gives me that time to allow my self the time to merely feel. A yoga teacher once said that we all need time to be just be - not read or watch tele- just be. A bit tree-huggy perhaps but I find the value in this idea more and more lately. I too am feeling a little more at peace with the world. Maybe it is the anti-ds kicking in or just that I am coming to terms with the changes. What ever the reason, I hope it continues! Some great thoughts from you as always. S
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Super Contributor
Hey Harker Sounds like you have hit the perfect balance in your life for where you are right now. Good for you!! Julie
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Not applicable
It is so hard to find a balance in life, Harker. It’s wonderful that you are at ease with yourself … definitely a time to relish. Regards, Reindeer xx
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