I've been in a very big hole lately. For a while I was happy to just sit at the bottom, in the darkness, in the quiet, alone. I took time to contemplate what had happened, what is happening and what might happen. I took time to think about what will happen, don't know when, not quite sure how. I did what I had to do, the very basics to keep our family fed and clothed. The housework had to wait. The kids didn't get bathed every night, sometimes we got take-away. I wasn't interested in communicating with people. I slept when I could, I have been feeling so tired. I knew it was time to come out of the hole, I made the effort to pull myself up, but the sides were slippery and I kept falling back in, exhausted from trying, exhausted from failing. I wasn't enjoying being in the hole anymore, I wanted to be out, I wanted to feel some sunshine on my face. I could hear other people calling out from their holes, some were deeper than mine. I started communicating with them and I found strength, the strength to get to the top. I feel better after my time in my hole, I know there will be another one along my path, it might be shallow or it might be deep, I might be in there on my own or there may already be someone at the bottom when I drop in. I know that it's OK for me to sit there for a bit, but I can't stay there. Thank you all for being my sunshine. I need the sunshine.
5 Comments
Contributor
Hi Jill just remember that we are all there for you and your family. "FRIENDS are ANGELS who lift us to our feet when our WINGS have trouble remembering how to FLY" cheers Linda
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Contributor
As always, you have the right words to say. And even though you are across country you feel as though you are down the street or next door ........heeellloooooo from the next hole. (hehehehehehe) Glad to see you are feeling a litte sunshine, Cyberhugs Nicole xoxoxo
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Super Contributor
Hey Jill So glad you can see the sunshine again ... dont forget to smell those roses too! We often lose the ability to see the good and i often have to remind myself to not dignify cancer with the power to take away the things that i can control. :) Julie xo
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Contributor
Thanks ladies!! Blue skies and sunshine as I look out my window this morning! YAY! Might go out and pick myself some roses today! Jill xo
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Regular Contributor
Hi JIll, So sorry to hear that it has been so tough lately. the walls of those holes are bloody steep! Keep remebering that there is always someone at the top ready to lend a hand to pull you up and sometimes the hand can come from the least likely of places. Glad that the sun is more dominant now and I hope that you can breathe deeply and take some strength to keep moving along the path. Take lots of care, s
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