I've been in a very big hole lately.
For a while I was happy to just sit at the bottom, in the darkness, in the quiet, alone.
I took time to contemplate what had happened, what is happening and
what might happen. I took time to think about what will happen, don't know when, not quite sure how.
I did what I had to do, the very basics to keep our family fed and clothed. The housework had to wait. The kids didn't get bathed every night, sometimes we got take-away. I wasn't interested in communicating with people. I slept when I could, I have been feeling so tired.
I knew it was time to come out of the hole, I made the effort to pull myself up, but the sides were slippery and I kept falling back in, exhausted from trying, exhausted from failing.
I wasn't enjoying being in the hole anymore, I wanted to be out, I wanted to feel some sunshine on my face.
I could hear other people calling out from their holes, some were deeper than mine. I started communicating with them and I found strength, the strength to get to the top.
I feel better after my time in my hole, I know there will be another one along my path, it might be shallow or it might be deep, I might be in there on my own or there may already be someone at the bottom when I drop in.
I know that it's OK for me to sit there for a bit, but I can't stay there.
Thank you all for being my sunshine. I need the sunshine.
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.