My mum had just been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. She only found out on Wednesday 8/9/09 and attempted suicide almost immediately.. My father has completed crumbled and at this point not able to make decisions regarding care for mum. I have now organised "silver chain hospice service" and even that was a shock as i am aware this service is only available for people with less than 6 months.. It's all happening sooo quickly. Mum only became unwell 2 months ago. Three months ago i was just plodding along, now its all, hospitals, tests, appointments, suicide, tears and grief.. And we still have the funeral to look forward to... I don't really know what i'm doing. I cant believe i'm the one that everyone is calling "the rock" and i'm not sure its a role a want. I am so afraid for my own mental well being.. i know there are so many people out there going through the same thing, but this is so new to me.. I have always felt like the luckiest person on Earth as my family has never had to experience grief or loss.. My daughter has a complex form of epilepsy which affects her learning and that has BY FAR been the most overwhelming experience of our families life... I feel so unprepared, i feel so overwhelmed and I am just soooo sad...
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