19/4/2009 Awareness blinks twice then rubs bleary eyes. I remember where I am. Back in this country, in this life I ran away from all those years ago. I want to cry but the energy it takes to sit up and get dressed Has stripped me of the ability to do anything but Sit on the edge of my bed and stare at the wall. Lucidity takes an hour to arrive and only the Whiteboard with directives for the month Tells me today is a day filled with study. Recent routines remind me to open blinds, Turn on the radio and get a banana and juice for breakfast. The sun is shining outside but I am not. I don’t want to be here My life is out of my control, my grip has loosened and I don’t know how to get it back And only shadows shall remain.
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