i feel guilty.. guilty that i want this to be over... guilty that i feel relieved when im alone now.. i know i'l regret it when it happens but im constantly worrying about him, worrying he wont take meds... worrying about when his next 'tantrum' will errupt... he is no longer emotinally available to me.. yet i have to be to him and myself and both families! its crazy...
am i wrong for saying that? i cant stop feeling guilty and i hate it.. when i find myself doing something and relaxing my mind thinks 'oh no how can u be happy when he is at home in agony.."..
hmmm
