the look

[sandy1960]

i hate that look everyone gives you when they know you have cancer I live in a small coastal town and own a business here, people that would normally stop and say hello now put their heads down or just give the look and walk away hey people i am not dead yet and dont intend to be for awhile there is plenty of fight in this old girl i tell you. i have only just been diagonised maybe the novelty will wear off

[Loulou]

I know that look. I'm not sure if a) people aren't sure about asking how you are doing in case they upset us or that we don't want to talk about it b)in case we think that it is none of their business c) they just don't know what to say - the right words are sometimes hard to find. d)some people will talk to you about everything else but avoid the Cancer subject e) they don't want to face you are actually sick f) maybe concerned that chatting about everyday things as if everything is normal may seem insensitive,knowing you are facing such a challenge or g) maybe I just have no idea what I am talking about Try giving them a little wave as they pass by just to remind them you are still there, and its ok to come in and talk to you. Keep up that fighting spirit

[Braveb]

You are right about the look. The first time you tell someone you can bet they will give you the look. But I found the look changes after you first tell someone. It's all because of the word 'cancer'. It still frightens the socks of me and I have been living with it for 6 months. I wonder what I look like when I tell people I have cancer?

[Mystery]

It took me almost 6 weeks after being diagnosed, before telling anybody. it was coming up to Christmas and I didn't want to spoil anyones holidays, so just kept it to myself. It was the most difficult thing ever......... But when did tell people I had a mix of reactions, from tears (from family) to tremendous support from my work colleagues. I haven't worked since January, but people still phone me to ask how my treatment is going and how I'm comping. It makes all the difference to know the support is out there.

[harker]

I know what the look is like. But I also know what it was like on the inside. My own first reaction was a lot more horrific than anyone else's. I can forgive everyone the first look on that basis. I have moved on and I can help others move on with it too if they want to come with me. If they stay with the look then there's nothing I can do and I won't spend time on them. If I ran a business, that would of course present me with a problem of how to maintain a public presence in a small town. I understand that. H