Hi Janey, I hear what you say. I cared for my husband prior to him losing his battle to cancer. I was in disbelief the majority of the time, feeling numb, anger, frustration, compassion, horror and of course total denial. Friends disappeared, never to return (other than for the funeral). Use this site and talk...talk til you don't want to talk any more. Love, live and hold every moment close. Life is so very brief and the time is so very fleeting. Hold close the love you have and for those that say you are whining or whatever - leave them - they aren't walking a mile in your shoes. Janey - you and your loved ones are in my prayers and thoughts. 2 1/2 years on and it feels like a lifetime and just yesterday all at the same time. x