Hi Lauren
I can certainly empathise with what you're going through. My grandfather had chemo treatment for his bowel cancer 5 years ago and my mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer, due to have chemo/radiation therapy in a month.
My approach would be to always reassure your loved one that you are there by their side, every step of the way. Empower them and let them know you can kick cancer's butt, together. I understand that this can be challenging. You may feel like you don't know what to say, but most of the time, they are looking for you to just listen to them, without judgement. Their behaviour may change and at times, you may find them becoming irritable and cranky and unfortunately, may take it out on you. As difficuly as that would be, just be try to be patient and not take it to heart. Everyone's journey is unique.
I can understand that all you'd want to do is to be strong for them, but it's important to look after yourself too. If you're a carer, tag team another family member or friend to be with them. Some people might offer to help, if there is anything you need. Don't be afraid to call them up on it sometimes, whether it be chores or just to come by to cheer them up. It can be helpful to plan ahead for them.. you may need to prepare meals in advance, look after their bills, do the cleaning, etc. It can also help to encourage them to do some of things that they enjoy. This can be a little escape for them too.
You may notice some physical changes while she undertakes chemo treatment, but this would be her body taking to it. I would try to empower her during these changes. Remind her that she is as beautiful and magnificent as ever 🙂 Be sure to track significant changes and raise them with the oncologist (BCNA has a fabulous My Journey Kit you can track this in). There are resources available, such as Look Good Feel Better and the Breast Cancer Network Australia.
You may also find it helpful to join support groups for carers. Speak to the breast care nurse or call Cancer Council on 13 11 20 to find one near you.
I hope this helps. Your loved one is very lucky to have you by their side.
