New to here, but needing some advice:
I was diagnosed last year with BAC Cancer (type of lung cancer) and with failed attempts to respond to numerous treatments it has spread to brain & bones. Each day is a struggle- good days & bad, however with Doctors giving me months, and im still here fighting, having treatment daily, but lucky to be home and trying to work and live a semi normal life.
However my supportive boyfriends twin sister last week was unwell and hours later after body scan in the ER was diagnosed with Bowel, lung and liver cancer and was virtually told if she had chemo would reduce her time she had left, which they estimated 3weeks.
I don't know how to act/feel, she is in denial, and won't let me visit, which i guess i understand- as she see's me as the lucky one at present, but now i dont know how to be there for my boyfriend, i feel like the more i am around him the more he feels heartbroken for his sister, and evidently knows i will be in the same situation with limited time
So i guess im struggling to know how to support when im fighting myself, i feel like i need to distance myself from his family... but as a cancer patient i know how much support one needs during this time.... help
OMG all you can do is take it one day at a time. Offer your support but if they don't want it you need to respect their wishes.
We had a close family member diagnosed after me and she has already passed away and I felt terrible for being the one that had a more positive diagnosis. She was even kind enough to speak with me but I was too unwell to visit her before she lost her battle so all I could do is send her messages. I still felt the guilt that I survived and she didn't but those feelings have passed somewhat now. There is nothing you can do to change the circumstances.
Just let them know that you want to be there for them if you are strong enough. Maybe just send messages to your boyfriend and wait for him to respond. It must be a terrible shock to be happening so quickly with his sister, right on top of your own diagnosis. I'm sure he's struggling to get his head around everything that's going on.
You are still the number one priority so take care of yourself as well.
Good luck and stay strong
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