Christmas Countdown

[#1]

Hello sammycat and Julie, this is just the worst time to grieve for lost loved ones. I lost my dearest friend in late November six years ago and that Christmas was a very hollow experience. I do suggest that you let Christmas go and just try to relax. Don't make efforts. People do understand and there is no need to fulfil all the ritual that goes on every Christmas. Perhaps going out to lunch on Christmas day - having booked a table somewhere, makes a huge difference to your feelings. Sometimes after the first one you find you change things around a great deal and keep the special memories separate from the new way of doing things. For now Julie, you have a hard row to hoe. Grief is so difficult to get through and it demands so much of our energy to try and learn to live with and there are many stages of grief to get through too, all you can do is let it all happen and accept it. Sooner or later things begin to lighten and you will find life will pick up again in a different way. All I can suggest is that you get through this year, both of you and then begin to try and celebrate their lives rather than concentrate on their deaths. It is hard to do this at first, but the more you expect to spend each anniversary of their death grieving the more you will hurt. If you can allow that time to pass and instead (later on) celebrate the fact that they were born and you had the joy of knowing them while they were here, you will find your feelings will eventually lighten. I do send you my love and best wishes and hope that this time passes for you quickly. Darki xx

[#2]

Oh dear, I got your names mixed up... I meant Janene's loss of her husband last Friday.

[Jules2]

Hiya sammycat It sounds like you had a beautiful relationship with your mother. :) I do like Jill's comment re the blanket making, it just seems like something that is nice to do and something we can keep forever. My mother has made a family history quilt. It is quite amazing. She put the photo's on her computer and then printed them out on special paper so they could be ironed onto material and then patchworked it all together. I will try and get a picture of it once its all finished. Hope you are feeling a little better today. Julie

[Jules2]

Hiya Darki thanks but i have come to terms with my fathers death quite some years ago. I still miss him of course but i am able to think loving thoughts without it burning a great hole in me. 🙂 I hope you have a great christmas and all the best for the new year. My time at the moment is ok, things are trundling along as it is par the course with a cancer gig. No more and no less. :) Take care Julie

[#5]

Hi all A lot of people have contacted me this week concerned about getting a lot of emails from Cancer Connections all of a sudden. What's happened is that people are talking in the Group area Family and Friends. Every time someone replies to Christmas Countdown it's effectively replying to every member of the group. You can turn email notifications off in your profile and you can also leave a group so that you're not receiving all these messages. Thanks Emma G

[#6]

Its Ditto for me as well.

[Lithgow_Mick]

G' Day sammycat, sorry to hear of your loss, I know the feeling only to well. I made a post here earlier this year about my mum having cancer and not expected to leave the hospital, I had many replies ( all TWO of them )My mum passed away on the 6th of April this year. I have had to get over her Birthday in July, and now face Xmas for the 1st time without her. We all use to go to mums for Xmas dinner, this was our tradition. I am still very bitter about her stay in hospital, she was put on Morphine, NOONE will ever convince me otherwise, I believe it was the Morphine that killed her, I'm not stupid, I understand Morphine is for pain management, but I believe she was put on Morphine far to soon. The Morphine slows down your breathing. I have not shed a tear as yet, thats not saying I didnt love my mother dearly, I hate her treating Doctor, and some of the medical staff at the hospital. Apart from imediate family, NOONE gives a shit, life goes on, the sun still shines, the birds still sing, it is you and or your family the grieve or care. Cancer %#^@%$ sucks...................

[Lithgow_Mick]

G' Day sammycat, sorry to hear of your loss, I know the feeling only to well. I made a post here earlier this year about my mum having cancer and not expected to leave the hospital, I had many replies ( all TWO of them )My mum passed away on the 6th of April this year. I have had to get over her Birthday in July, and now face Xmas for the 1st time without her. We all use to go to mums for Xmas dinner, this was our tradition. I am still very bitter about her stay in hospital, she was put on Morphine, NOONE will ever convince me otherwise, I believe it was the Morphine that killed her, I'm not stupid, I understand Morphine is for pain management, but I believe she was put on Morphine far to soon. The Morphine slows down your breathing. I have not shed a tear as yet, thats not saying I didnt love my mother dearly, I hate her treating Doctor, and some of the medical staff at the hospital. Apart from imediate family, NOONE gives a shit, life goes on, the sun still shines, the birds still sing, it is you and or your family the grieve or care. Cancer %#^@%$ sucks...................

[Karen_Rose]

Hi Mick I'm so sorry for your loss. Without knowing all the details, you have said you are not satisfied with your mum's treating doctors. Have you written to the Hospital and/or Doctor expressing your concerns about your mother's treatments? I know it will never bring your mum back, but putting your thoughts in writing to the hospital may give you some answers and possibly peace of mind as to why they treated her with the medication the way they did. Most hospitals have Patient Representatives/Advocates who can assist in tracking down answers to questions regarding treatments etc. Just a thought, Karen

[Karen_Rose]

Hi Mick I'm so sorry for your loss. Without knowing all the details, you have said you are not satisfied with your mum's treating doctors. Have you written to the Hospital and/or Doctor expressing your concerns about your mother's treatments? I know it will never bring your mum back, but putting your thoughts in writing to the hospital may give you some answers and possibly peace of mind as to why they treated her with the medication the way they did. Most hospitals have Patient Representatives/Advocates who can assist in tracking down answers to questions regarding treatments etc. Just a thought, Karen