I live in Melbourne and my Dad lives in Auckland NZ and has hormone resistant prostate cancer. He's had chemo, radiation therapy (it's spread to his bones) and is about to start the drug Zitega in two weeks. He's not going to get better, we just don't know how long he has. At the moment apart from some bone pain (which the radiation therapy was for last week so should go away) he is very fit and doing well.
My fiance (who is from the UK) and I are trying to work out what to do regarding our wedding (currently booked for April 2014 in Las Vegas) and I could really do with sharing my worries and frustrations with others who are dealing with or have already dealt with similar issues but it doesn't look like this forum gets much use? I'm reluctant to type an essay if it doesn't!
Are there many people out there?
Hi Nic, i've been wondering the same thing! I joined this site a few days ago and was quite excited to have found it. I have had a couple of terrific replies to my initial introductory post however when looking around there doesnt really seem to be a lot of activity happening. I have been wondering though if thats just because i'm new and not totally sure of how to work it all.
Yeah it seems like people have been reading posts over time but there haven't been many recent replies. I wonder if everyone's on a different forum?!
Anyone else out there? We'll have to be our own support group! I shall go and read your introductory post!
Welcome to Cancer Connections
We understand how important it is for you to be supported at this time and hope you will find Cancer Connections of benefit.
Our Introductions area is a great place to share details about things that are important to you and to let other people find out more about you and your Dad's current situation: www.cancerconnections.com.au/forums/lounge/introductions
As your Dad is in New Zealand both you and he may also be interested in contacting the Cancer Society of New Zealand: www.cancernz.org.nz/support-services/
and checking out their online community:
Cancer Council’s Helpline - 13 11 20 - can help and support you during normal business hours and can recommend a range of other support services and programs that may also be of assistance.
Other support service and Cancer Council contact details are also available at: www.cancerconnections.com.au/content/resources-and-emergency-contacts
For any assistance using the website, please do not hesitate to email us: email@example.com
Cancer Connections Coordinator
I don't think this is the easiest website to negotiate, and I thought that perhaps this was because I am an ancient parent! Apparently not so.
However - I am sorry to hear of your father's illness, and can appreciate the difficulties in planning such an occasion. Both my husband and I have cancer, and are looking forward to family visiting from the UK - but when would be the best time?
I am rather an impulsive person and I would suggest getting married as soon as possible, fitting round your father's treatment. Then go ahead as planned in April in Las Vegas - 2 Weddings. Your Dad will then know he has seen you 'tie the knot' officially, and hopefully be able to join in the later celebrations.
I do wish you and your family well. The important thing is for you to keep strong and positive - for your own sake as well as your Dads. I am happy to 'talk'any time.
I think people use this site often when they are in need of support and when things are going better for them a lot less . I don't use it as often as I used to do . I still check in from time to time but don't participate as often either . Some read posts but don't respond often . We all choose how we respond or use the site .
If I were you I would be getting married sooner while your dad can be there . I'm sorry that you have to be going through this .
Thanks for the welcome Felix and that information 🙂 I hadn't thought of looking at NZ sites.
I wasn't sure about the introductions area as given as it's not me who has cancer I didn't want to muscle in on other forums and figured this one was the place to start. I may post there too!
Rosey you are not alone, see I wasn't sure where I should start on here either! I hope your family in the UK can come and visit you and your husband, sorry to hear that you both have cancer. I can only imagine how difficult that would be, on the one had you might have more of an appreciation of what you are each going through, but with your own support needs the other may not be able to provide that support all of the time depending how they are doing/feeling themselves.
Silly - I agree, its always in times of need that people seek support. It's good to know that there are people out there, reading if not replying :)
We have decided to have our official ceremony in NZ in January as we are going to spend Christmas with Dad. My partners parents and sister will come over from the UK for it and my Mum and step dad from Queensland. Then we will have our ceremony in Vegas with all of our friends and our family will be there also - just probably not my Dad unless he is well and able to travel. You never know I guess, must stay positive!
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