Its been a while since ive been on here. I wrote a blog nearly 6months ago now about my partner who had GBM. He turned 25 on July 5th 2012 and we lost him on 15th Aug 2012.
Ive never lost anyone so close to me. Everyday i think about him, and wish that he was with us. i go about my daily routine just like normal, but hes always there in the back of my head...
Does this get any easier?
Our daughter is 4, we celebrated her 4th birthday and our first christmas with her Dad and it has been so hard. I always tell her she can talk about Daddy whenever she wants, but I have found that sometimes she uses him against me. For example, the other day she put toothpaste in her hair and told me "daddy told me to" or when she is in trouble and throwing a dummy spit at me, she turns the cards and gets sad and says she wants daddy - and to me it seems a way to stop me being cranky at her. Has anyone else got young children who are grieving?
so sorry for you and your daughters loss.
Parenting can be difficult enough...but when grief and loss are combined...i can't imagine.
I don't have personal experience of what you are going through.
But I know that playgroups can be a great support for all parents and children
I don't mean this as an answer to your concerns...but this is what came to my mind.
wishing you healing
My husband was diagnosed with epithelioid Harmangeoendothelioma 4 and a half years ago when our daughter was 3 and our son was 7 months. He passed away three weeks ago.
My daughter was initially fine on the surface, but her sleeping and eating patterns are erratic.
My son was initially talkative, expressed that he felt sad, cried a bit, asked a heap of questions about where dad was.....and I thought he would be the better of the two of them. However, he has been increasingly hitting out at me and at his sister.
A psychologist told me that the kids understand, but they don't understand to quite the depth or level that adults do, which is a good thing.
My kids daily make a comment about dad that makes me want to weep, sometimes crack up laughing, and other times speechless as I can't answer their questions (thank god for Dr Google...although even he sometimes doesn't know everything).
I guess there are no rules, and what little reading I have done to get kids through this sort of thing, just go with your gut and do what feels right for you.
And chuck the rules out the window and cuddle them if you need to........
I don't know that I've been much help, but know that you are not alone.
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.