Father and sister have Pancreatic cancer

[Purpleheart23]

Hi,

im currently watching my dad and sister endure pancreatic cancer. Where do I start. I don’t know what to say other than how can I have an outcome of hope with such a cancer I need to be brave and strong for them but all I can do is cry. 

my dad had a Whipple three weeks ago and he is so unwell it’s scaring me. I can see him changing every day he is no longer himself. I miss my dad so much. He is my anchor.

my sister is stage four . She is in USA so I can’t even hold her as we are here in aus . Everything is terrible. I don’t know what to do 

****update : sadly a week ago my dad passed away suddenly from complications from his Whipple operation a month ago. It was a traumatic scene I won’t be forgetting anytime soon. The worst end to what was already a terrible situation. I don’t blame the surgeons but I do think post op care should be more thorough and detailed. Maybe people would have listened to us more when we told them he was sick if it was. I didn’t need to see what I saw I won’t go into detail but internal bleeding caused a haemorrhage.

[Livingwithhope]

That is so sad, I feel for you.😰 I don't know how you would cope with such a difficult situation either. Have you tried Lifeline? 131114 I find they sometimes offer such wonderful empathetic support, it's a godsent, to be heard but not pushed. 

[kj]

Purpleheart23
Hi that is so sad and heart breaking to see your father go through A Whipple and then pass away from a haemorrhage ,tragic I do have personal knowledge of that occurring after surgery,

I’m sorry your sister is stage four with the same horrible cancer,I can only suggest you talk to someone professional ,so hard to handle such heartbreaking news and memories.of the tragedy.

[Purpleheart23]

Thank you I had no idea that this happens. I’m sorry you went through this also with someone. I just didn’t even consider for a moment the operation dad worked so hard to receive would be what eventually took his life. 

I am receiving professional help also my mental health is important to me and when dad got diagnosed I had to commence getting help as I was scared I was going to lose him. Now it’s for the trauma I saw in the ICU and ensuing grief at the loss of my wonderful wonderful dad. Whilst the Whipple is what caused him to die I still blame ultimately pancreatic cancer. We need more research into this cancer. Surely a Whipple cent be the only answer it’s too risky. 

My lovely sister is getting a stent inserted to her liver if I am correct and fluid drained from her abdomen. Is this a common stage four practice ? I’m sure it is however I’ve been positive and focused on dads Whipple recovery until now. Now I can start focusing on my sister and what is happening there. 

if anyone has lost someone to postoperative complications of a Whipple please speak to me I can’t compute how unfair this has been 

[kj]

The stent your sister is having is usually inserted in the bile duct because of the blockage there ,the drainage of fluid build up helps relieve pressure on the lungs,for breathing and also helps other main organs it is standard at stage four I had a stent inserted in my bile duct,when I had pc the procedure doesn’t take long at all,

As the liver failure gets worse draining is more frequent .My brother is going through draining at the moment he has severe liver failure.

Whipple surgery is the only hope for long term survival of pancreatic cancer,I am into my eleventh year post Whipple,I was diagnosed terminal after surgery,yet I survived,they aren’t sure why just very very lucky.

I myself had a massive haemorrhage three weeks after surgery I was told the first week was critical to watch for it happening,I lost a huge amount of blood and was revived twice ,so I do know the trauma involved mine happened at midnight as I was taken out of ct scanner it was touch and go for six hours,Whipple is very major surgery it was explained to me like trying to sew a sponge back together so much can go wrong with blood vessels And nerves ,I vividly remember lots of what occurred but I am still here and that’s all that matters,If someone can have a Whipple they do have a chance it can extend  life but  the surgery can flatten you,we all respond differently to it.

Much more money is needed for research and immunotherapy.

It’s good you are proactive with your mental health my condolences on your loss

kj

[kj]

Purpleheart23

Sorry I forgot there is a stent that can be put into the liver ,with liver failure chemicals build up and can cause major problems the stent can help some of these symptoms best wishes to your sister 

[Mustluvdogs54]

I hear you and your pain goes  deep along with frustration and anger which is totally appropriate, Have you thought about getting into women's activity groups where you can be surrounded by support and others helping you by sharing what helped them? Hypnotherapy  might help get those images out of your head and you will be given opportunities to reenact from a stronger vantage view.  Remember to balance your pain and grief with helping others as here you are not alone and find an opportunity for balance in your emotional welfare.  

[Mustluvdogs54]

Whipple surgery is very hard on anybody but much worse on someone in a deteriorated state. Still, it's hard to feel so helpless and have people not listening to your concerns. With my spouse I have to stay on top of the caregivers to do what should be understood but look at it as something positive helping their care be better for the next time.

[KaceJax]

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your father. As to your sister, try to communicate with her always so she'll be able to feel your presence. Let the doctors listen to you this time.

[MyheroCoolSpy]

You may need time to grieve, which means that you spend some time processing and feeling the loss before healing. Though you'll never get over this completely, remember that happiness is right around the corner. Your father will forever live in your heart.