Going on holiday

[arvs525]

Hi everyone

i thought I would see what advice you all could give me in regards to going on a holiday whilst a loved one is undergoing cancer treatment.

A bit of history - my mum was diagnosed with Sarcoma in 2015. In early 2017 we found that it had metastasised to her lungs and she underwent resection in both lungs, and seemed to recover well. In November 2017, we found that the tumours had returned in her lungs and she immediately started chemotherapy. She did not seem to take the chemo well and in January 2018 we found out that she did not respond to chemo and so we stopped. Mum is now doing a clinical trial for immunotherapy and initially responded well, however she has recently been struggling with her breathing. Drs say it could be a positive response to treatment as it may be swelling. But we won’t know for certain until her check up next week.

My entire family had planned a holiday for April. Unfortunately due to the effects of treatment, my parents decided to cancel and my brother has exams. I have decided not to cancel as it has always been a dream of mine to go to Japan. I have had to take many days off work in these past 4 months to take Mum to treatment and care for her when she feels unwell. My work is incredibly understanding so I have been lucky. I am 25 years old and although I don’t need permission to travel, I checked with my parents if they would be ok if I still push on with my holiday. As expected they said yes, however I feel guilty and I am worried that they may think I am selfish as those weeks I am away could be spent looking after my mum. 

There is is so much more I could write but I think that’s enough for now.

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you

[Budgie]

Hi arvs525,

Go on your holiday!  You need a break & believe me, they won't think you're selfish for going.  How many more times will you get the opportunity to go to Japan?   If worse comes to worse, you can always cut your trip short if anything does happen.

Take care

Budgie

[Sumie]

Hi arvs 525

I can empathise with you, as I am in a very similar situation.  My husband was diagnosed with throat cancer about 6 weeks ago, and has just started chemo and radiation treatment, which will go for 7 weeks.  

I booked a holiday to New Zealand with some friends about 8 months ago, and we are booked to fly out the week before hubby's treatment ends.   My daughter lives on the same property as us (in a separate house) and has told me that she will take care of him while I am away, and that I must go as I will not get the opportunity again.    Hubby also says that I should go, but I'm not convinced that he really feels that way.

I am worried that he will be really sick by the time I go and I don't want to put that burden on my daughter, who has a family of her own.     I also don't want to go on holiday and feel guilty the entire time.

If I wasn't in the same position, I would be looking at your situation rationally and telling you to go, but it is quite different when you look at things emotionally.

If it is of any help to you, I spoke to the Radiation Nurse and the Social Worker at the hospital about this, and both of them told me to go and enjoy my holiday.   And that hubby would be OK as long as someone was close by.