Had a bit of a hard time today thinking of the future! Just sharing

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Had a bit of a hard time today thinking of the future! Just sharing

This week I've been travelling pretty well - thinking really philosophical about things and its actually been helping a bit. I know for some it might be a bit much, but for me - wondering, pondering and exploring the concepts of life and death kind of help. I know my dad has Cancer and that perhaps his time is limited - but at the same time, if I take the "cancer" away from these thoughts of life and death... and think that in general, everyone's life is limited... as a journey that we all must take... it tends to help a little. Each and everyone of us here, effected by cancer... and each and everyone who is not... we all still will make the same journey one day. It sucks that for some, it has to be sooner than later... but again, we're all here for some sort of purpose and we're all here propelling the world on! I'm drifting off a bit here... Sorry :)... I came here to say that seeing Dad today was a bit tough. Only because he just looks the same "Old Dad" that I've always known before the Cancer diagnosis... and to some degree, it saddened me that he's only going to get worse. I know that sounds ridiculous - my mind tells me to enjoy every moment and enjoy the moment he's at his best, but at the same time... this "anticipatory" grief tries to pull me down and focus on the bad of what's to come. The mind really does play tricks. I so desperatly want to take it day by day and this week has suprisingly been really positive for me in many ways coming to terms with all of this. But today, well... today was a bit tough and I'm feeling a bit gloomy. Thanks for reading. My best to everyone out there tonight! John
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Re: Had a bit of a hard time today thinking of the future! ...

Hey John very sorry too hear about your dad and I totally understand what your saying about our minds and I feel that you have too be in the moment and focus on what is happening right in front of you or your emotions will get the better of you and you will miss completely what is also a part of your life be it with cancer or without the point is we are all in it together but I think it has too do with what you believe in myself I am a man of nature and evolution so when I made peace with myself while in treatment I really did so much love and peace too you and your dad.
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Re: Had a bit of a hard time today thinking of the future! ...

You know what Cancer is shitty and will make you sad and question EVERYTHING. I realised early on that I needed to focus on the here and now, or my mind got out of control. Even now that my hubby is gone I have to keep my mind on what is immediate I have three daughters who help keep me going. My mum also has late stage bowel cancer so it seems that Cancer has been my world for a long time.
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