Thanks for your reply. It means a lot to me that you'd take the time out of your day to respond.
Some moments are good - others are crippling. Write now typing this, I feel great - not a worry in the world... but I know the minute my mind plays a trick on me with my daughter I'll literally spiral into almost panic.
I've tried once before with a councerllor - a while ago and I just didn't mesh with her that well. I guess I"m here as I'm wanting to find someone who can perhaps specifically help with Cancer or anxiety related type mental health issues.
BUt again - thanks for your reply. Appreciate it
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Well, here I am.
Of course you don't remember me - but I used to frequent these forums 2 years ago.
2 years ago when both my older sister and father BOTH got diagnosed with Cancer.
And what a ride its been
I feel like I've been grieving these two years. That I've been depressed these two years.
Dad passed away recently.
He fought so hard and more importantly - when he passed, as much as it pains me to have him gone - I feel so relieved. Like a weight has been lifted.
I feel guilty - but I know Dad understands. And more importantly, despite how I feel... we had the best 2 years. While we could - we travelled, we spent time as a family, we had dinners and lunches and all things. We did the BEST WE COULD with what we had... and again, while it pains me he's gone... I take a little bit of satisfaction knowing he's not in pain and that we did what we could.
For my sister - well, only the future knows what that holds.
Sorry for going off on a tangent... but I haven't really vented after losing dad.
What's happened to me is 2 years of grief. Anxiety, Worry and now... I'm in a real state of mind.
I know I've been depressed and now, the worst is that I"m developing hyperchondria or cancer-anxiety... which I know is common losing a love one... but its debilitating me.
The minute my daughter gets a fever, leaukemia. The minute she drinks a lot of water, Kidney Cancer... the minute she has the runs, bowel cancer.
I am absolutely losing my mind with CANCER anxiety for my children. This week my daughter had a fever and as quick as it came, as quick it went - but for the past 5 days I've been checking her temprature 12 times a day, feeling her forehead... obsessing with it.
Sorry guys - I'm going in to gory detail - but I know in my own mind that I'm losing control. My anxiety and hyperchondria almost makes me faint and my stomach churns.
I easily spent TODAY thinking about my daughter having cancer at least 100 times.
I know I've lost Dad and I know I'm watching my sister fight her battle.
But as I said to my wife... I cant continue living this way in this constant state of fear. Its terrorfying.
I need to talk to someone who can assist with this sort of anxiety or hyperchondria
Thanks for reading
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Thanks for sharing your story on Cancer Connections.
I'm sorry to hear of your battle with Cancer... but it sounds like you're well and truly ready to put up a fight and get on with life caring for your boys.
Please know that you should never feel embarrassed to share your news with people who genuinely care for you.
Sure, its a tricky subject... but its not something that should be avoided or tip toed around.
You have Cancer. You're fighting it... and you've got every chance and luck on your side to beat it.
People may feel like they need to treat you differently and this is something you cannot change - but remember, nothing has changed about who you are, who your family is or what you beleive in.
Cancer is now just a tiny part of what makes you... well, YOU!
Best of luck. We're always here to listen and I hope you're treatments work as planned
All the best
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Hope we're all doing well and living each day the best we can.
For those that recognize my username - or have read some of my previous posts - my father is dealing with an aggressive form of Prostate Cancer.
I promised myself I wouldn't get involved with the "doctor" side of things - as I'm not A) A doctor and B) in the room with my dad when he is getting results etc
Anyway - So i'm just looking for some feedback. My dad was originally given, I believe, a tablet that shrinks the prostate.
Forgive my ignorance and simplistic terms - but I believe he was taking one or two tablets per day that would do this.
It has relieved him of a fair bit of pain which was good.
His surgeon however informed him he could take an injection, in the stomach, which delivers the same results but means - no taking the tablet each day.
As he is taking lots of this and that... he liked the idea of taking less tablets, so he went for the injection.
So his Surgeon prescribed him the tablets and suggested this, but his Oncologist suggested the injection. When he asked his Surgeon, the surgeon said yep - there is no difference, I just didn't think to offer the injection and thought the tablets would suffice.
So I'm sure its comparing apples and apples... but in my mind, as silly as it sounds... I would think taking tablets each day would be more effective, as its kind of addressing/medicating him daily.
Where as with the injection - well, his body could medicate itself quickly and actually go through the injection medicine quicker?
Does any of that make sense?
In other words - tablets are taken daily, he can control the effects/dosage... where as injection, well, he only does it every three months I believe?
If anyone has feedback I'd appreciate it. The doctors seem to say its the same thing???
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Sorry to hear about the news with your mum.
My name is John and about a month ago - my Dad was diagnosed with an aggressive Prostate Cancer that looks to have spread to his bones.
It was a funny old time come to think of it - my Dad was hobbling around with saw legs, then a sore bum cheek bone... then sore this, sore that...
He went to the doctors and test after test couldnt really find anything... so we didn't really worry to much. He's 62 so we thought it was old age, perhaps nerve issues... and so on.
Anyway... finally, after some time, I remember getting the phone call (txt msg actually...) "You're dad's in the hospital, found some swollen lymph nodes"... and really, from their my heart sunk.
Its been a ride, really only a month - of tests, scans and the whole works.
It pains me to share with you - that for my dad, the doctors have told him that he might have 12 months to 5 years... depending if everything works in his favor.
But you know what... he might not even have that. In fact, none of us might have that.
After learning about my Dad, I've really tried to think and respect life a literally differently.
Sure, we get up, go to work, stuck in traffic, answer emails, play with the kids - cook tea, clean the dishes... sure, it can sometimes fell a bit same old, same old.
But life isn't really about that - because one minute our lives were normal, the next minute we were faced with Cancer that will take the life of my Dad.
He is your typical Dad and a huge part of our lives. My life, my sisters, my mums... and his grandchildren.
I'll admit - I have moments where I feel really glum. But I'm also not afraid to admit that I have moments where I'm almost at terms with it.
Sure - I've cried, been angry, dissapointed, panicky... but please know that we all have different emotions and when they come, we need to let them out not bottle them.
Right now - you're gob smacked your mum has cancer. But if you focus on the positives and focus on each and every day... your mind will somehow come to terms with whats going on.
I won't lie... No one will ever give you peace of mind. When we get these serious diagnosis - our brains frantically try and flick the switch to make everything fine again... but the truth is, you can't always find that peace.
So you need to work with it... focus on the good things and be positive.
Remember that life is a journey that for all of us, has an end point. Being scared about the unknown is perfectly normal... but don't forget, we ALL take this journey.
I hope everything works out for your mum and please know that many of us here are here to help and listen.
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Sorry - I'm not from the Perth area but I wanted to reply and let you know that I've read your post and that many of us are here to listen.
That must have been quite the news for your husband to receive - especially as he had no symptoms.
I'm merely stopping by to wish you the best of luck with your journey and hope that everything works out.
All the best,
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My name is John and I'm from Melbourne.
I'm 31 and my father is battling an aggressive form of Prostate Cancer.
I've just read your post and I'm terribly sorry to hear your news. I wanted to write to you immediately so that you know that we're here to listen and help where we can.
You've posted this over the weekend - and honestly, these forums can be a bit quiet over Saturday and Sunday, which is a good thing because it means most of us are enjoying time with our loved ones.
Destiny, you absolutely, without question have people here, including myself, who will listen and talk with you.
The news you've been given is life changing and you have every right to feel anxious, angry, upset, panicky... whatever is racing through your mind, these are natural occurances and while they can become a point of focus - please know that "dust settles" and that by talking and understanding your situation, you will start to become, tiny fraction by fraction, better equiped to deal with the future.
I also want you to know that you're not alone. Hundreds, if not thousands... if not hundreds of thousands of Australians, from all shapes and sizes and from all parts of this country are right now going through similar journey's with their families.
I can't... and no one here can flick a switch, press the delete key and take things away from you. But what we can do is be here to listen to you when you need to talk.
Wanting to run and hide is perfectly normal - and If i'm here to be honest with you, I've considered it many times myself. Wouldn't it be almost better to just dissappear... and get a phone call, despite how hard it will be, but just know our loved one has passed and we've been able to run from all the pain in the lead up.
It sounds incredibly selfish... but again, these thoughts are perfectly normal. You yourself are a woman and a human being on this planet. We are all creatures roaming this place and while I don't mean to be philisophical - having these strange, sometimes upsetting thoughts are a complete normal way of our own body telling us "Hey, how are YOU going to survive this".
So while it may seem easy to run, let me just say one thing to you.
Step aside for one moment and "mum" being "mum". Sure, we look at our parents or those that raised us as being this god like creature. Sure, its "Mum"... she's always been "Mum" and always will be.
But please know that you're mum was once a young woman like you are. She was once a child. She was once a baby.
We ALL go through this journey... and unfortuantly, some of us have a shorter time than others. But it IS a journey we ALL take... and think of your mum now as a woman.
Think about her life and think about what would be important to her? Would it be important for her to be comfortable? Would it be important for her to spend time with those children she raised?
What is important to your mum as a woman - an independant person living her life.
And Destiny... when you do little things to step outside sometimes of the panicky, worrying mindset you have every right to be in... sometimes little thoughts come into your mind that will give you peace.
She might not have a long time. Yet, she still might have the whole world ahead of her.
There is a saying... "Tomorrow is promised to no one". Do your best to enjoy what you have right now.
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Hi Razzle Dog,
How are you feeling today and how is your doctor's outlook.
You're quite inspirational - not just for me, I'm sure for many others too.
Think about it really... January 2013.... Wow, almost a full year with that life changing news!
A lot happens in a year my friend... and we're glad you're still here with us!
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Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.