Im a young adult that has a parent with cancer.

[siobhan-m]

Hello, Im thankful that i've found this site, it helps to feel not so alone. Having my mum diagnosed with a brain tumour has been a confusing and stressful time for me. Lately i've spent my time thinking about the past and wondering how i can show my family my strength but also letting my fears be shown. I hope this forum can help me calm my nerves so i can spend all my happy energy with my mum.

[tatsoi]

Hi, You sound like a thoughtful person - it's a delicate balance to stay strong and be real. I think there is much strength in expressing our sadness but also we need to make the most of the moments we have. It can hard not to be overwhelmed...and that's totally OK too diagnosis is very stressful and a shock. Things change ...and you may of heard people talk about the 'new normal' . I had a parent with a brain tumour also. He is no longer suffering , but I did get to have many many great times with him while he was with us. So sorry your mum is unwell. Stay strong and real for yourself and family...this is hard hard stuff Getting support is essential...like you are already doing via this forum Take care Xxx

[siobhan-m]

Thank you for your reply, I'm sorry to hear of your loved Ones passing, but it's great to hear you had so many great times and good memories. My mum is a very strong person and she is showing tremendous courage, she also has a positive outlook on like, which is making this time easier for everyone, we think that sometimes your attitude can be half the battle 🙂 but thank you for showing me support, I'm very thankful

[melbourneboybor]

Hi there Siobhan, I'm 31 years old and the Thursday of last week, learnt my father has prostate cancer. This week, a week later - we're learning its quite severe and perhaps spread to his bones. This whole thing is completely new to me and really, I don't even know really what to say. I go through moments of panic - the what if's, the thinking about the future, him not being here etc... all the stuff way beyond my control and I'll admit, it panics me and I sometimes don't know whether to cry or what. I kind of have a dead stare. At the moment I'm kind of just staying 1000kms ahead, looking into nothing while my mind just wanders and worries. I'm here because I'm not taking it well. I'm here because like you, I want to be strong. I'm here because I want to make the best of such a sh!tty situation that I can't control. Siobhan. I'm sorry to have just talked about my own situation. Best of luck to you and your mum. I'm new here too and just know, if anything, right now... this very minute, as a 31 year old guy from Melbourne... that you, right here are not alone. People are caring for others like you. People are worrying and being sad, happy, sorrowful, remorsefull... all the emotions you're feeling right now... we're feeling them too

[siobhan-m]

I can totally understand that feeling of not knowing exactly what to say. I wish I could say the what if's go away, but even to this day I constantly think about all the things my mum could miss out on in mine and my siblings lives. Sometimes I think it's the not knowing what feelings to be having can be a terrible part of the whole situations, I have days where I just want to lock myself away from everyone and cry my eyes out, and other days where I want to see the silver lining in our situation. Don't ever feel sorry for sharing your story, we're all hurting and it's great to have support from people who understand what it's like. I am praying for you, your father and family. If ever you need a shoulder to lean on, feel free to comment me on here, helping people that are in the same position as me makes me feel like, if even just in a small way, I can be a 20 year old Making a small difference, I hope your family can hear some good news soon, chin up 🙂 Siobhan xx

[Ms_Liz]

Hello, I know exactly how you are feeling. My father had a brain tumour when I was 20/21 (am now 23) It's a very hard thing to be there for them as well as keeping yourself sane. My best advice is to make sure you take good care of yourself, eat regular meals. I stopped eating when my dad was really sick and it just made me more emotional and unwell. I would sometimes feel strange just being around my dad, especially after the surgery. Try not to let the physical changes take over your mind. Just focus on being with her and caring for her and loving her. I am new to this forum, but I can see now that I should have joined much earlier. I hope your mum is doing ok. x

[Ms_Liz]

Also, taking that time to cry is ok. I just wanted to add that 🙂

[siobhan-m]

Thank you for taking the time to reply, it means a lot to know people are reading my story. I feel like that's exactly it , you want to be available to them 24/7 but at the same time you just want to feel sane and normal. I'm lucky that my mum is very strong willed and goes on with life as if nothing is holding her back, I'm so proud of her, she is very strong. Every now and then I love to just get away from everyone and have a little reflection and cry for myself, it does feel good to release the stress that does build up. Thank you for all your advice, I will defiantly use it! I hope your father is well xoxo siobhan