Miss her already

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Miss her already

I've been strong for so long but can't seem to continue to find the strength.Maybe that's why I'm writing this. I guess I feel alone. According to the oncologist my mum has 6 months left. So I stand by trying to be stronger than ever as I watch cancer take my mum's life away. I guess I always thought she would get through it all. I guess I've always imagined her being at my wedding, holding my children one day and being with my beautiful family for many more years. She has so much to live for but the cancer is too powerful for her 50yr old body. I put in a brave face for everyone close to me. But the truth is part of me is breaking as each day and week passes. I feel time running away and I feel helpless and alone. I'm not ready to let her go. I just wish I could find strength from somewhere.
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Re: Miss her already

Hi Maree, your post really resonated with me. My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma 3 years ago, and I remember thinking exactly the same as you. What I've learned is that strength is sometimes just getting out of bed and stumbling through the day, doing what needs to be done. It doesn't have to be dynamic or elegant, that's all you need. Just take each moment as it comes, and one day you will look back and realise in amazement how far you've come. Huge hugs my sweet. love Emily
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Re: Miss her already

Hi Maree, can I start off by saying I'm so sorry to hear your Mum is so ill. Your post touched my heart - I really feel for you. Your post sounded so much like the way I feel, that I could have written it myself. Maree, I'm new to this site too, and like you, I had gone in search of somewhere I could go to read how others were feeling, and maybe to talk to someone who truly understands what I'm going through. I'm feeling very much alone too. There are people around me who do care, but I guess I just feel like I'm living life in a bubble just at the moment, with only my Mum and I in it. It breaks my heart seeing my Mum so ill, and knowing what she's going through. No-one should have to go through this. Maree, I feel for you so much. Being given that 6 months would be absolutely devastating. I haven't been given any indication of how long my Mum has, and she has now started "maintenance" chemo, but I know the day will come when I'm given the same news you have received and I dread it with all my heart. I'll close this here, but I just wanted to say that you are not alone. There are a lot of people out there who understand exactly how you're feeling - I'm one of them. Take one day at a time Friend, and remember you can't be strong all the time. Big hug for you.
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