Help. My husband died from cancer, and my daughter has cancer

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Help. My husband died from cancer, and my daughter has cancer

My husband died just in February 2015 from colorectal cancer. It was a short very savage journey, only 2 months from diagnosis to his death. He was hospitalized and never came out. His suffering was unimaginable. All I got from him was verbal abuse and the cold shoulder. Not once in that 2 months did he tell me he loved me, but frequently told me where to go. The worst part he was so nice to everyone else, even the cleaning staff. Still trying to process all of it.

My now 33yo daughter was diagnosed with endometrial cancer some 8 weeks before his diagnosis. Her cancer despite all best efforts has metastasized and she now has at best 18 months left. I am now her carer. She is handling this crippling news rather well all things considered.

I am overwhelmed as my life has been blown to pieces, and the loss of our home thrown was into the mix for good measure. For the most part I put on the "brave face" because NO-ONE wants to know how I feel. Honestly, people (even my own mother) say to me they hope she is getting better... there is no getting better for her this is terminal. As a consequence of this I am feeling like a burden and my life is slowly but surely contracting as it is becoming more difficult to pretend everything is alright. 

Help, I need someone to talk to who won't get uncomfortable if I feel like crying or falling to bits a little.

 

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Occasional Contributor

Re: Help. My husband died from cancer, and my daughter has cancer

Hi adamal,

 

It sounds like you have had such a difficult time and are not receiving a lot of support. Thank you for joining the Online Community and we hope you find the community of benefit.

 

There are some services provided by Cancer Council which may be helpful for you:

 

We have a Telephone Support Group (TSG) for people such as yourself who are caring for someone with cancer. The TSG provides an opportunity to regularly talk with others in a similar situation so that experiences, information and coping strategies are shared. For more information please phone: 1300 755 632 (messages can be left) or you could send a private message to me and include your contact number and we can call you.

 

Cancer Council also provides a counselling service which may help in your current situation. If you would like information on accessing counselling or other Cancer Council services, the health professionals on our Information & Support line (Phone 13 11 20) can assist you during business hours with information.

 

Take care,

 

Margaret

Online Community Admin Team

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Regular Contributor

Re: Help. My husband died from cancer, and my daughter has cancer

Hey Adamal, I'm glad you found this site- feel free to fall to bits a little (or even a lot!) here- we've all been there.  It seems that you've been there more than most though!  I found it hard enough when my husband was going through chemo- I can't imagine how hard it must be to have your daughter diagnosed as well!  Please keep posting here- it's a great place to vent/ask/encourage/whatever.  Sending big gentle hugs, Emily

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