How can I help my Dad. I feel helpless.


How can I help my Dad. I feel helpless.

Hello. I am new to this page. My Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer nearly 6mths ago. Thankfully they could operate however the surgeon found it had spread to lymphnodes and in his stomach. They were happy with the op outcome. He has been waiting to start chemo again but has a drip as his pancreas  (the1/3 he has left) is continuing to leak. He can't start until it has stopped and they remove his drip. He had a scan to check things out and has now discovered in this 7 weeks post op that it is in his liver. I feel helpless and I justcan't comprehend why my beautiful Dad is going through this. I see that it is beginning to affect him mentally as he is no longer his happy self. 

Frequent Contributor

Re: How can I help my Dad. I feel helpless.



I'm sorry to hear about the delay, i see that they're wanting to do chemotherapy but desire to wait after the dip has ceased. Have the doctors considered radiotherapy or spoken to you about other treatments? Radiotherapy could always be an option while you wait. They could target the newly discovered liver?


Don't forget there's no harm in seeking another opinion as well. Always helped us despite the stages and condition but mind you some doctors don't like this. We had to fight and push back every step, no regrets. Those steps always helped us cover ground.

Occasional Visitor

Re: How can I help my Dad. I feel helpless.



I am new to this online community and have just come across your post. How are you and your dad doing? 

My dad also has pancreatic cancer. He was diagnosed in 2017 and also had the whipples surgery followed by a 5 week course of chemotherapy to ‘mop’ up any floating cancer cells. 

He had a year cancer free but unfortunately it returned this year and now it has spread to his lungs. It is a very hard thing to accept that your dad has cancer and that you can’t fix it for him. It can feel extremely overwhelming (for me anyway!).  I guess all the advice I can give you, as I am still trying to work it out myself, is take one day at a time. It is easy to let your fears and anxiety get away on you.  Take the time to speak with him often and just be there for him. 

Take care, 



New Contributor

Re: How can I help my Dad. I feel helpless.

I'm so sorry! I understand what you are going through. I lost my dad to cancer less than 2 years ago and just last week my mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer . It's a horrid time and feeling helpless is totally normal unfortunately 😥 Just love him every single day in every single moment. Laugh with him, listen to his favorite music with him and whatever else he enjoys. I wish you and your family all the best xxx 

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Re: How can I help my Dad. I feel helpless.

Hi KarenC81

So sorry to hear about your dad.

I have recently lost my partner to pancreatic cancer and it is a soul destroying and cruel disease.

My partner hung on for 3 years and 3 months.

We did have some good times and memories but the last 8 months was a rollercoaster.

Please please just push the Drs to keep his pain well controlled down the track. Goran was never pain free. It was distressing for him and  for me to feel completely useless.

Just continue to show your dad love , kindness and compassion as I know you would be. We can only do our best and if we give our all..we have no guilt only pride in knowing we did the hard yards with them. Your dad will know this believe me.

You're doing a great job..

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