How do I stop feeling guilty?

[Lynne_M]

My partner has terminal cancer and I have Herthle Cell Carcinoma (thyroid cancer). My problem is that when Im feeling rotten and sick I hate saying anything about it as his is terminal and mines not. I feel that he is thinking that at least im going to live and he's not so I shouldn't moan. We don't really talk much about it. And I feel guilty. Common sense says not to but!!.

[SILLY]

When you say your partner's cancer is terminal it doesn't tell us if he is expected to survive for a short time or a long time. If it is only a short time I think it would be harder for you to complain about your cancer. One place you can whinge or whatever is here.If you feel it may help the Cancer Council provides face-to -face or phone counselling ,5 sessions free of charge for a cancer related problem. I suggest you ring them. I am sorry that you are in this difficult situation ,facing losing your partner and not being able to express your feelings about your cancer . Have you had surgery and /or radiation? What treatment had your partner had?

[Lynne_M]

Hi and thank you Silly. My partner was diagnosed with follicular Lymphoma Cancer 4 yrs ago 3 months after we started seeing each other and moved in just after. He has been told by his Oncologist that this is terminal and most people die within 10 years. He had chemo when it was first diagnosed but thankfully he has been really well since and all his checks come up good. I had 1/2 my Thyroid removed 7 years ago with the Hurthle Cell and my surgeon decieded to leave the other side in as it had 2 very small legions on it. 6 months ago my thyroid swelled up again but the surgeon didn't do any tests he said he would take it out and that would be the end of it. I had it out in July and was put on thyroid tablets. I had more blood tests done and everything showed up great so I was surprised when I was told 3 weeks later I had cancer. At the moment I am off all medication and will be having RAI in about 3 weeks. Hopefully after that we will know whats happeing. I will take your advice and speak to a councilor as im sure it would help. Cheers. Lynn

[SILLY]

I think you have good reason to complain or even just talk about your health and not feel guilty. After counselling you will probably find a way to talk to your partner about how you feel . All the best for now.