How do i keep my survivor mother happy post operation - if the effect and aftermath is worse than the cancer itself!

[I_Miss_My_Mums_]

I think i pretty much said everything in the subject line - im here 100% for my mum, i do EVERYTHING i can do whilst trying to study full time, amoung other things im working on....... I have organised social groups, online chats, meetings with people who are going through what she is; but the loss of her job and the discrimination that occured prior to her termination after 9 years of employment has left her more scarred than i could of ever imagined. I cant imagine the feeling of loss and mourning she is going through. What can i do for a person who wants to return back to work but is unable to speak (due to throat cancer) and isnt currently receiving benefits from Centrelink (long story - payout from work)???? Answer.....nothing. I feel its my role as her daughter and only support network to make sure she is happy, at the same time; im 23 and need to live a life of my own before i get sucked down deeper into a hole of depression. Mum wants to work, not socialise and discuss this cancer with people, she wants to move on. Payments begin in October for her, and hopefully the ball will start rolling soon as to a Job Capacity Assesment; but in the meantime im watching her deteriorate slowly and slowly. What else can i do for her? HELP ME please!

[#2]

I'm sorry to hear of your mum's experience. Having been thru cancer with my mum the best advice I can give is just keep being there for her and let her know that u support her in what she wants to do. Sounds like u are doing a great job already. I know it can get hard and that is a normal thing to experience. Happy to chat further should you wish. Just remember that us carers need caring too.

[Vicki_Anne]

Its never easy to watch your loved ones go through this. I have been through both sides, having lost my Dad last year and now going through the cancer treatment myself. Everyone is different in how they cope and react and I can only tell you from my experience you cant do it all for your Mum. I agree with Lee, Carers need care too, Your Mum needs to do whats good for her, and that needs to come from her too. You are doing a great job just being there for her. Take care of yourself,- its not about being selfish, -its about you being strong for yourself and therefore being stronger to help your Mum and others. If that makes sense? Vicki