Hi Lindaw,
Take a big, deep breath in, then let it out slowly. Repeat a few more times, and get on with living.
Death is a natural part of the life cycle, but not one that people like to talk about. Because we as a society don't talk about it, it has become hard to accept & deal with. Your father wouldn't want you worrying about him, wasting your life away, being depressed because he's dying. He would want you to be living your life
as best you can.
My husband & I talk about my impending death quite often. It's scary & sometimes brings me to tears, but we try to make light of it if we can. Sometimes we even make jokes. I know it's different for you, as your father seems to be deteriorating rather quickly - I was diagnosed terminal in 2012. I'm on my last available treatment now & it should have stopped working last November. But by some miracle, it's still keeping my cancer under control. We look for positives in every day & enjoy the time we share together.
One good thing about knowing I am dying, is being able to prepare my funeral the way I want it to happen. I even have prepared my own coffin. I have always loved Ancient Egyptian art work & my husband suggested making a sarcophagus for me. At first I thought it would be too hard, but he talked me into it. So we bought a cheap coffin, he made another lid for it & we made a mould of my face to put on the top of the lid. Then I spent the next 8 months researching hieroglyphic scripts & painting the coffin with scenes from different tombs. It was very theraputic for me & great fun. I will leave this world the way I want.
I hope you can find some peace & come to terms with what is happening in your life.
Here's a pic of my art work.
Budgie
