Husband has advanced cancer

[Banditswife]

My husband had bladder cancer 7 years ago. He had his bladder removed and has been very well until 2 months ago when a scan for a kidney infection showed cancer on his spine. Further scans, blood tests and a bone biopsy have shown the cancer is from his original bladder cancer which has spread to his spine, pelvis and femur. He is waiting to see a radiation therapist on the 9th December. We have wonderful support from family and friends but I still feel so alone and sad. I would love to have someone to talk to who is going through a similar experience.

[Maureen]

Sadly I can relate to your story. I am caring for my husband who has Kidney Cancer which has metastasised to the bones and brain. He's had ops to pin, plate and cement the crumbling bones and a craniotomy to remove the brain tumour, unfortunately he suffered a stroke due to the operation. Since the stroke our relationship has definitely changed I feel very lonely most of the time too even though I have 2 grown up children close by - there's some things you can't or don't want to share with close family. So sorry to hear your husbands cancer has returned, I suppose after 5 years you start to think maybe the future looks a little brighter only to be knocked back again with the sad news to be told that its back. My husband was only diagnosed at the beginning of August so everything has happened so quickly. Take care of yourself and share away. X

[Banditswife]

Thanks so much for your reply Maureen. You and your husband have certainly had a lot to deal with in a short time. Rick was only diagnosed mid Sep so this is new for us too. In 2006 he had major surgery to remove his bladder, prostate and appendix and apart from learning to cope with the bladder bag, he has done really well. He has a lot of pain now which they are trying to get on top of with a concoction of drugs until he has radiation therapy. We are not even sure what his prognosis is - its hard to know what questions to ask and so we just have to trust the drs. The long waits between appointments have been very hard also. I am also very busy with my job and at times feel as though I have two lives and am juggling both and am about to drop everything. Our family and friends don't live close and even though we have friends where we now live its hard to talk to them as I tear up which then makes them feel bad. Thanks again for replying, it helps knowing someone is there who understands.