Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

[worriedwife]

This past Monday my husband went in for a colonoscopy. At the consultation after the Dr told us that he had a very large polyp that he was not able to remove and that he would contact a surgeon to see the best way to remove it and in the mean time he took biopsies. Well two days later on Wednesday he got the news that it is cancer and he was immediatley referred to a surgeon, oncologist and sent for blood work and CT scan to see if it has spread.

This has been a very hard few days, my husband is thinking the worst because he has had alot of past medical issues and he hasn't barely eaten anything in the past 3 days, he feels so sick with his nerves and just keeps talking so negative, telling me he needs to sell all of his stuff so I'm not stuck dealing with it and keeps saying things like he doesn't want to live anymore because he's tired of all the stuff he has had to go through. He says that he doesn't want to suffer. I'm scared too and it's so hard to hear him say these things. I don't know what to do. He is 52 and we just had our 29th anniversary. Is all of this normal? We go in to the surgeon on Wednesday and just waiting for his day is horrible, I don't know if he can take it with his nerves being so bad.  Thank you for listening.

[iloveyoudearly7]

Hi Worriedwife,

I know this reply maybe a little bit delayed but how is everything currently going? Your husband's response is perfectly normal, he is understandable scared and worried about the future. Everyone responses differently.

[worriedwife]

Thank you for responding. oing well. As far as the colon cancer, we are still waiting to see if it has spread, the waiting is horrible. The surgeon doesn't believe it has going by one of the scans they have done but we are waiting for yet another scan to be sure. However, he has been feeling extremely sick, nauseated and queezy, we do not know what that is about. He started feeling this way before his diagnosis but every time we go to the doctor they just keep telling him it's his nerves but we think it's from something else. So we are working on trying to figure this out. It's very frustrating and I feel awful for him since he feels nauseaus the majority of the day. thanks again for your response 

[iloveyoudearly7]

The nausea could be resulting from something else, especially if the surgeon seems doubtful that it has spread, judging by previous scans. In the meantime has the treating doctors recommend any treatments?

[worriedwife]

We are starting to think that it is a result from something else, but everyone keeps saying it's his nerves and they just keep prescribing nausea medications.

As far as the cancer is concerned he goes in for surgery next week to have part of his colon removed, it is still unclear at this time if he will need chemo and radiation. The MRI he had yesterday (waiting for results) if it looks clear then we wont need to do any chemo or ratiation before surgery, when they do the surgery they will also remove the lymph nodes in that area and IF they come back with cancer then he will have chemo/radiation. So we are praying that it comes back good. In the mean time the nausea and queasiness is really bad and he is worried about going into the surgery already not feeling well. Its frustrating, I feel awful for him, his spirits are down and he is miserable.

[iloveyoudearly7]

I'm sorry, this must be immensely frustrating and needing to wait, only adds onto the feeling. But it's good to see that your treating doctors already have treatment plans in place for whichever scenario, they have you covered. 

Have you tried anything natural to temporary help relieve his nausea?

[worriedwife]

Yesterday we got the news from the MRI and it isn't what we were expecting. He is at stage 3, the cancer has spread to 3 of the lymph nodes. I am so heartbroken, he is devasted, he feels like he doesn't want to be here anymore, he doesn't want to go through chemo/radiation. My husband has endurered so many health issues and he fear chemo is going to ruin him. He also is so sure that it will come back later. This is a difficult journey. I've never asked you if you had cancer or someone you know?

[iloveyoudearly7]

It's okay, we're here if you need us. We can talk about whatever you like, whenever.

Treatments can be scary and everyone reacts differently, depending on the type of chemo (chemical they use), dosage and etc. I believe radiotherapy is meant to be more precise in nature and generally has less side effects than chemo. Chemo washes over everything, to help destory or shrink lingering cells.

Did your husband and yourself speak to the treating doctors regarding what the treatments would involve such as possible side-effects? Sometimes deeper understanding can help.

Me? No, honestly I stumbled upon these forums by mistake. I originally came seeking for eulogy advice, needed to get the sentencing perfect as possible. I didn't have much luck so used an rephasing bot repeatedly instead.

I'll keep this belief, the topic is difficult. (But please remember, everyone's experience is different and is no indicator for future events by any degree).

It was for someone who was incredible amazing, devoted, generous...i'm simply unable to express how much i loved them. It was recent enough for me.

She had it for some years, it felt surreal.

Every time we had some form of small success, something else would go wrong. One step forward and 2 steps back. It was an rare cancer, it felt like we had to continuously push for hospitals to do treatments or even continued the current ones. If they refused, we moved but it was always worth it. We must of moved at least 3 times? Different doctors equal different possibilities, in our experience. Each treating hospital certainly didn't like the transfer request but we were more than happy to endure their displeasure. 

[worriedwife]

I'm so sorry, thank you for sharing with me.

I have read that chemo affects everyone differently, we are just afraid because even right before the cancer diagnosis he already has been suffering from episodes of feeling really nauseated, it has gotten a lot worse since then, we can't  figure out what is going on, so we are worried what that's going to do already feeling this way. Doctors just keep saying it's his nerves, which I thought at first as well, but this wakes him up from a dead sleep so I kind of think it's something else as well.

[iloveyoudearly7]

Your concern is absolutely understandable, nausea can easily disrupt all aspects to someone's life. By the sounds of things, the prescribed medication hasn't been efficient just yet.  If you don't mind me asking, have the treating doctors done an full MRI or CT yet? Which includes an extensive scan of the head or stomach yet??