I don't even know what to put here....

Occasional Contributor

I don't even know what to put here....

I'm so lost...The relationship between my mum and I is toxic. She is undergoing chemo for stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I feel obligated to look after her as she is alone and I'm an old child. I'm tired of the controlling,the snapping and guilt trippin. Walking on egg shells under so much stress is too much. I'm trying my best to help her but....I want to walk away. Being at her side through this is killing me. My kids are tired of being treated like crap and so am I! I'm a single parent and feel like it's time to do what's best for my kids. Anyone else had a similar experience? How did you cope? Did you walk away or stay?  I'm so lost 😞

Super Contributor

Re: I don't even know what to put here....

Hi Ky, unfortunately this is not uncommon during cancer treatment.  A lot of people have trouble processing the trauma of cancer constructively, and there is also the disease process itself and some drugs that can also make people aggressive and  difficult to be around.  You could discuss this with your Mum's doctor (or your own) to see if there is anything they can do to help.  There may also be counselling services for you or your Mum (or both!) available through the hospital, and practical help through the social work department as well.  All in all you are definitely not alone.


Having said all that, you don't have to stay where you and your kids are abused.  There are plenty of resources available to your Mum if you are not able to continue looking after her.  Personally (and this is just my opinion) I do think you need to put your kids welfare first- unless they are older they need looking after more than anyone in this situation.   Good luck with whatever you decide- know that there are resources available to you. 

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