Missing my parents - life after death of both parents

[nicky99]

Hello everyone again, Nicky here. As previously posted a couple months ago my mother had been very ill and fighting for her life and we had been grieving the death of my dad. Up until the end of August she passed away peacefully right after I had kissed her one last good night and hugged her reassuring her I will be here the next morning to be with her as I had been for the last few months of her life. The pain is immense, some days I don’t really know if I’m grieving enough. But one thing I do know is that I am alone in this. As much as I have such a wonderful family of many aunties, uncles, cousins and a god sent angel of a partner. It just does not fill the void of loneliness. I just turned 21 last week and it was one of the worst days in my mind but in reality I was spoilt by everybody and the day was perfect even the weather. Nothing in my mind or my heart can fix this deep hole which I deal with every day. I am happy every single day of my life, I managed to finish uni for the semester and I manage to get up and go to work and pay the bills. But when I get a second I can cry for hours and hours because how and why does it have to be me? Life is so unfair and no one can help me but myself. It is the sour and bitter truth about death and life. I could sit here and rant for days on end, it doesn’t change/fix anything. But it’s nice to let out some of my thoughts. Hope you are all enjoying life and remembering that our loved ones are not invincible and that it could be them tomorrow. All my love. 

[Katekat]

Hey @nicky99, 

Thank you for sharing your experience with us, I am incredibly glad you are well supported with family and your partner but I completely get where you're coming from 

Have you looked into the telephone support group we run here for anyone who has recently experienced a loss due to cancer? It usually runs for 6 sessions and is a good way to get some support from a different area than your usual spheres such as family, work or friends, and the people in the group have all undergone a similar experience to your own. Let me know if you're interested and I can put you in touch with them. The team are here Mon-Thurs, they literally sit right behind me in the office. The TSG's are open to all Australians and are free as well, we call you.

Sending hugs and love