Mum diagnosed, very scared for her. - please help with some advice.

[emmaround]

My mum was diagnosed with cancer just yesterday and i am pretty upset. The type of cancer she has is a non-agressive, which is worse because some of the cells are asleep. so she will have to get kemo for the rest of her life as we aren't sure when they will become active. It just hurts me so much that i cant do anything to make her feel better. she is in a lot of pain, she is terrified of kemo and procedures, she dosent want to live the rest of her life in pain, being sick. I dont know what to do, or make her feel okay. Please help for some suggestions of what i can do. It would be greatly appreciated.

[Zen-moment]

Hi Emmaround, It sounds like a tough time for you and your mum, sorry to hear that. I guess after being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that everyone experiences a lot of fear in the beginning, and everyone wonders what to do. So you're not alone, and hopefully coming online here will help you feel less alone. Maybe talk with your Mum about just dealing with things in "bite size chunks" at this stage. Just take each thing, each day, one at a time. Find a really good person in the treating team that you can talk to - I"m sure they will have suggestions about what might help both you and your Mum. They have some great treatment for pain, and they will try to help. One thing I"ve learnt is that nothing ever stays the same - everything changes. So for me, each chemo was different, each time I went for radiotherapy was different - sometimes I expected it to be awful and it wouldn't be too bad after all. I learnt to not look too far ahead - just stay in the moment and deal with the moment. None of this is easy to do but you have lots of love and strength combined, and you will find your way through this. Just being there with your Mum, and sharing some of your strength and courage with her - your willingness to hope for the best - these are the gifts you can give her...it mightn't take away the pain but it will help her feel better within herself. Take good loving care of you too Emmaround... Zen 🙂

[emmaround]

thankyou so much for the reply zen. this has made me feel a little better about it all. Im sorry to hear you were diagnosed and i glad to hear you have recovered :) when you first were diagnosed did you want people to ask you questions or did you mainly want to be left alone? Thanks again, Emma

[peanutz]

Sorry to hear about your mum's illness. I don't know what type of chemo your mum will have. It shouldn't be too bad as they seem to have whatever pills to stop you from feeling sick from chemo. My partner has brain tumour and his first chemo is in the form of tablets. He also had anti-nausea wafer to take beforehand to stop him from feeling sick which worked well. His main problem is tiredness and it's quite frustrating when he wants to do things but feeling tired most of the time. My partner feels fine talking about his illness but there are times when things aren't going so well that he wants people to leave him alone.

[glenys48woods]

Hi Emmaround, Others have said that they are sorry about the cancer and so am I. Why is the cells asleep and she has to have kemo for the rest of her life? Poor thing as she must be not on the moon about it. What kind of cancer is it also? Glenys