Mum has been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer

[Rose2]

3 months ago I walked in from work to be sat down and received the worst news of my life

my mum has been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer that has spread to her bones and her liver, this all happened very quickly in a matter of a few weeks and turned our life upside down

I wouldn’t usually post to this sort of thing but I’m constantly researching about things and reading everyone else’s stories and it gives me a bit of closure to be able to know there are lots of others going through the same 

She has started palliative chemo to try and extend her life and she is very positive about it all and has changed her diet and lifestyle completely 

but I sometimes wish she would just make the most of what she might have left and enjoy all the things she used to enjoy, but I’m also glad she’s got a good mindset that we could get a Miracle 

its been very hard watching her deteriorate, and I feel like I’ve already lost my mum in a way because she’s not the same person anymore which sounds horrible but I’m just not used to all of this change suddenly , I’m only 20 and I feel like I’d be lost with out her And I don’t know how I’m going to cope when she passes 

I feel like my life has become a ticking time bomb

I don’t really have any questions but I’m just looking for some advice or to hear other people’s stories and coping mechanisms 

[Timebandit84]

hi rose , my mum was dignosed 4 years ago with stomach cancer they told us that she would only live 6mths but she is still fighting. I noticed when my mum first got dignosed she just go on with life but as she has got sicker she is a very different person it’s heartbreaking to watch . Enjoy the moments where you mum is still your mum . Make sure that you still include her in the ups and downs in your life because no matter how sick she is she will always want to be there for you.. the hardest thing is the not knowing and when will they pass away try not to focus on what’s could happen because no one really knows just try and live in the moment and create memories because you can only control that not the future or the cancer .. 

[anneidril]

Hi @Rose2

My Mum's just very recently been diagnosed with advanced gallbladder cancer and they've given us very little hope. Like you, I feel blindsided and have struggled some days to wrap my head around it. Mum doesn't look sick yet, and she's been my rock for the almost 29 years I've been alive. I feel like I can't keep going without her.

That time bomb that you feel? It's so so hard to push it aside but if you can, lock it in a box in your mind for now. Just keep thinking one day at a time, one breath at a time. Don't look at the future (I did that and it's just awful isn't it, so pretend you can't see it yet).

If you ever need to talk to people, please reach out to friends, family, forums and even lifeline. I did that about a week ago and it helped me get through a bad night. There's nothing wrong with saying you're struggling and there's nothing wrong with how you are feeling. We all cope differently. Just please take care of you, keep reminding yourself how much your Mum loves you, and know that we all wish we could hug you right now. 

[nikkiec21]

I'm sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. About a month ago, my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer with mets to her lungs, liver, ovaries, and spleen. Just like you, I am 20 years old as well. I felt like my life was falling apart as well. Even now, I still feel that way. Seeing my mom deteriorate is the hardest part. But I try to enjoy each moment that I have with her and am grateful for everyday she's still here. Personally, there's no right or wrong way to cope. Some days I'm sad or angry. That's your mom. 

[NicolaMaree]

Hi Rose,

Firstly, I am very sorry to read about your mum. 

My father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer yesterday. His has spread to his liver too.. and they are looking to do chemo as well (maybe if his liver is ok)

I too see he is deteriorating quickly since finding out.

Maybe we can help each other cope? because I sure as hell don't know where to go from here. 

So much uncertainity and sadness and pain. 

Anyway.. I'm not sure my reply is helpful, but I want you to know you are not alone and its ok not to feel ok because I don't feel ok and its all not ok. OK!

I saw a nice quote on a school noticeboard driving to work the other day - I hope it helps you some how

"Life is tough, but so are you" 

[Summer]

I am sorry to hear about your mum. I lost my mum to pancreatic cancer about 10 months ago. The day that she was diagnosed, I felt like my body is empty and I had been researching everyday and trying to be possitive that she would fight this cancer. My advise is staying with her as much as you can and tell her whatever you want to , especially tell her how much you love her. Also, look after yourself so you can look after her as well. It is heart broken to see her going through all the stags so be ready for it.