Needing advice

[Gertiejoe]

Hi, this is my first post.

very new to this my husband was diagnosed with melanoma 3 months ago.  Since then he has had to operations, the last a month ago.  On Friday he was admitted again due to an infection, we were told it was only for 24 hours but that was 3 days ago we don't when he is coming home.  Each day I go in to take him home and we're told the next day.  I'm having trouble coping, I feel like everything is out of control and keep over thinking everything.  AND keep thinking about my husband when I have two adult children to think about.  I know he is in the best place but I want him home.  I feel lost.

my husband will be starting immunotherapy in a few weeks once the infection is clear.  

This is has shown me that we are heading towards uncertain times with him being well.  I'm a planner, an organiser, I love looking ahead weeks and knowing what is happening BUT this has thrown me.  

I just want to cry but I want to be strong for him.

Im trying to keep it together but feel like I'm losing it.

ive decided to make a list of flexible plans - things my husband and I can do when he is well, just so I feel like I have some control.

its such an emotional roller coaster, I'm so up and down.

Any advice please.

[little_stitcher]

Hi Gertie, I can try to imagine how stressful your situation is- such uncertainty must be horrible.  I don't really have any advice, as it sounds like you're already doing everything that can be done; I'm a list maker too, and making the flexible lists seems like a really good idea.  Is there any way you can express your anxiety to your husband's Nursing staff, and see if you can get any more information- even if it's just "he definitley won't be coming home in the next two days". 

The only other thing I would say (as a 40 year old with an anxious mother)  is don't stres about looking after your children.  You did say they were adults, and you need to trust that they are capable of taking care of themselves- they may even be able to help you and your husband, if you let them.  You did the hard work of raising them, now is the time to allow that work to bear fruit. 

Don't forget to take care of yourself, too. I know it's hard amongst everything else, but it's important that you remain in good condition too. sending love and hugs, Emily