New carer

[deb23]

Hi i am soon to care for my mum at home (with some supports)when she is discharged from hospitaland she will stay with me until she passes. i;ve done the reading & feel i know what to expect at 'End of life" stage when the body starts to shut down slowly. A bit of me is going into the unknown feeling it will be alright.jsut wondering if anyone else has done this and what advice or info can you offer to make my journey easier.

[Sharon55]

Hi Deb, You sound so strong and have a clear direction on what the near future is going to bring. Remember to kind to yourself along with your Mum. Whatever you are feeling is OK as it is the way you are feeling at that time, remembering that the moment will pass and you will feel differently in the next. You have a wonderful opportunity to create some very special memories. I wish you all the very best and whatever you do, try not to stifle your feelings. Find an outlet for them. Good Luck Deb.

[deb23]

Thankyou for your lovely reply. i will take your advice.

[Rosie]

Hi Deb You are doing a wonderful thing for yourself and your mother.  My sister and I are in a similar position to you.  Where can I find the end of life information? Thanks  Rosie  

[deb23]

Dear Rosie, thankyou for your message, i dont really know why i  keep checking this site reading the info, i lost my mum on 20th may 2008, i didnt get to care for her at home because she deteriorated so suddenly and remained in a pallative care hospital.The good thing was that i got to spend a lot of time with her and i got  to tell her what a beautiful woman she was and how much i loved her.i guess its a grieving thing that i havent opted out of this site yet. i do love reading the posted information from all the lovely people that take time to communicte on this site. So many lovely people facing illnesses and yet still make time to share their stories and offer advice.its very comforting to me as a carer to mum who has now gone to be reading and learning there are so many wonderful inspirational and caring people around. I am happy i got to share mums journey. I hope you and your sister are supportive to each other as i have some siblings who are a little jealous of the time i spent with mum and dont communicate with me since her death. I think that it should be a time of strengthening our family ties as we all need kindness. Take time to look after yourself too as i neglected myself and am now slowly getting myself back on track. What you are doing is a wonderful gift to your mother. take care Deb23.

[deb23]

Sorry Rosie forgot to tell you about where to find the end of life information. www.hospicenet.org  Aged Care Australia - for carers and family - Help for carers and ... Our

[Rosie]

My 84 years old mother was diagnosed with cancer of the oesopghus in May 2007 and received radition treatment.  The cancer has now spread to her lungs, bowel and stomach. Mum had surgery for a bowel blockage and removal of some cancer on 25 June 2008 and is recovering well although her condtion changes rapidly and often.  Its hard to catch doctors at the hospital to ask all questions.  We now have the gastro's mobile number so we can ask more questions. Our main question is about how long Mum can expect to live and her quality of life.  Can anyone share similar experiences?