New here - partner passed away of liver cancer in May 2011.

[Chez]

Hi - I am new to this site. I am a little lost. My partner passed away in May and from then on things have moved quickly. I have had to plan his memorial, look after our daughter who is 4, find a new home for us and work and grieve. I cared for him in his last year, cared full time in his last few months - in hospital and at home. I was there holding his hand when he passed away. And now everything feels empty. I still feel so sad but it seems as though the world has kept turning and everyone is getting on with life. I miss him every day. People keep telling me that my partner would want me to be happy and I put on a happy face for my daughter and try to keep things as upbeat and happy for her as possible, but when I'm alone my mind keeps ticking over. I remember how much I have lost - holding his hand, late night chats, hugs, kisses, being held and feeling safe and secure. I never expected to be a widow at the age of 39. I have gone back to work - at first on a part time basis and then back to full time the last couple of weeks. It has kept me busy and distracted, yes, but what to do when I get home and my daughter is asleep and the house is so empty. Does anyone out there have any suggestions as to what to do when they can't sleep and books, television and the 'net do nothing to distract you.....?

[maddie86]

hey there and welcome! have u heard of the book "wife inturrupted"? its by amy molloy and its about a young widow, her husband passed away from cancer.. its worth a read! did your husband have a long battle with liver cancer? how tough on you 😞 xo

[Chez]

Hi, No hadn't heard about that book - thank you. He was diagnosed in February 2008. Thank you for the welcome. Chez

[maddie86]

no worries 🙂 i hope the book helps a little 🙂 take each day as it comes and never be hard on yourself.. your amazing going back to work! and good on you for doing so 🙂 it helps to keep busy i think..

[Jules_68]

Hi Chez, Firstly im sorry for your loss and send you love. Be gentle on yourself, ensure you have 1 spoke person in yr family for people to contact about how you and yr family are and a written list of what people can do for you eg, food, housework, sitting, paying bills. Most people offer help because it MAKES THEM FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES, however with a list written, you can actually put them to work. With your work, takes as much as they give, as you will take 2 steps forward and 6 backwards. You are amazing to be back at work and yes it does occupy the monkey mind. At night time when it is quiet.....well I try to meditate even if I can only manage 1 minute, it was 1 minute at peace with no thoughts...... Love and blessings