Hi Emily
I hear your pain, my husband has been diagnosed with CUP (Unknown Primary cancer) metastatic liver disease in January and I too and going through my emotions.
He has been in treatment since January 6th 2015 and is doing better than he was. I too am scared about what will happen down the track but what I have learnt, let your feelings out when they overwhelm you. In my belief you will know who loves and cares about you, who is there to support you and obtain all the information you can, learn about the disease, it has help me along my journey with my husband and never let one day go past without telling the person you love them, never go bed cranky as you never know if that is the last time you will speak to them.
When we first found out about my husband I was very lost, scared, overwhelmed and just needed support from our family and friends. Never let a person tell you have to grieve, feel or tell you what you are doing is wrong when you are doing the best thing you can with the information you have. over time, you will know where you stand with people and then you will be stronger and just get on with daily life.
What scared me the most, in a short period of time, you need to find your new "NORMAL LIFE" and try and live life to the fullest as when you love someone that has cancer, your world changes and you never regret what you did for them each day and when you lay your head down you can say to yourself " I did everything I can for my loved one today" say goodnight love you to the moon and back and life does just go on and it does get easier in some respect.
I am now 2 and a half months on, I am scared everyday when I wake up he will be gone, but if that's what happens then I will never regret loving him, he has made me a better person today and I will always love him until the day I die.
I hope that helps in some way. just remember your never alone