Not fit enough to have treatment.

[Dijo]

Sadly a few days before Xmas we were told our dear mother has adenocarcinoma in one of her lungs. It has also spread to her liver. She had her first visit with an oncologist last week and was told she is not fit enough to withstand chemotherapy. She is stage 4. At the moment she is not unwell, she becomes breathless very easily. Her legs are swelling to double the size and are an angry red colour, does any one know if this is part of the disease? We are all devastated and simply can't believe it. She has never smoked in her life. The oncologist told us she has between 2-4 months. We are in shock and find this hard to accept. Thought it may help to talk to others.. Thanks Di

[tatsoi]

Hi Di, Sorry to hear about your mum. What a terrible shock it must be, to you, your sister, your mum and others that love her. I don't know about the cancer she has, but what a heart breaking; prognosis and also difficult news that a treatment is not being offered at this stage. When my father was diagnoised with stage 4 primary brain tumour, it was a very hard time for me...still some days are tough (like today...getting routine mri results back...which the doctor didn't receive...so still we wait...) He was given median 15f months, and pallative treatment. That 15months stuck in my head for weeks....could stop thinking about it. I hated that 15 months! I can't imagine the shock of a smaller number. I've since let go of that number....it's only that - a number. It made be realise that my time with my dad may be short - so now I make the most of it. ( I make it sound like it was simple - it was not...it took me time to get to that place) I found phoning cancer council helpful and there is incrediable support on this forum. I also get counselling every month or so. I don't know your mum,s situation, but people do better than is predicted often. I wish this to be the case for you...especially if she is doing well. Give each other lots of love and be kind to youself. Love your mum up... Wishing you healing and many wonderful times with your mama Xx