Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum but am both overwhelmed and inspired by how so many of you cope with the struggles of caring for a loved one with cancer.
My wife was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer a year ago, she is now 69. It was a late diagnosis and initially the medical people did not hold out much hope. She was too weak for surgery. Usually the proceedure is surgery followed by Chemo to mop up the remains. At one stage Palliative care was presented as the only option. She is however a very stubborn lady and her condition stabilised enough to begin a course of Chemo to try to shrink the tumour and then try a radical Hysterectomy if she was strong enough. She had the operation in May this year followed by an intensive course of Chemotherapy.
For a while it looked as though things might improve; all the markers were good and she was gaining strength. However she was always in a lot of pain which Opiods just managed to control.
A month or so ago the markers went up and scans showed it had spead to lungs, bladder and other places.
This week she will start another course of Chemo, of a different type and basically the doctors explain this is just to control the worst symtoms and with little chance of remission. Her GP is a lovely lady who has an interest in Anthroposophical Medicine and, in consultation with a doctor who specialises in this way, is going to help my wife get a course of treatment with Misseltoe, which is used in Europe quite extensilely in conjuction with Chemo as a cancer treatment. The preparation is available from New Zealand and, though it is an uncommon approach is accepted as a treatment plan.
We hope it will at least help relieve the worst of the symptoms.
My wife comes from Switzerland and having no family here is reliant on me and a few friends to help her through. She still manages to look after herself but as time goes on she will become more bed bound I think.
There is good support from the local Palliative Care people but I find that I am the one who deals with the daily issues of living with someone who is slowly dying.
There are times of anger, resentment, fear and wanting it all to go away. I have a counsellor who helps a lot, a sister likewise, but no matter what I do, who I talk to in the end there is just myself and my wife. Unless it reaches the time when she needs a nursing home.
The medical people; Surgical, Oncology, nursing, Palliative Care have all been exceptional in their own way but at times I think that the last year has made little difference. The quality of life has. apart from a few weeks, been very poor. In the end though it comes down to watching a loved one die.
I don't know where other people who post here live but in South Australia there are a lot of Government; Federal and State; Local Council and Volunteer agencies that can offer support. This does mean often having to wade through red tape a mile high at times, and the added stress of this is not needed. The Volunteers we deal with though are the tops.
The worst of these are the dealings with My Aged Care. My wife was approved for a Level 4 Home Care Package but access to the service which could be provided is through Private Organisations, such as Resthaven. Up till now we haven't need this and Palliative Care has offered to act on our behalf if it is needed. Quiet honestly whoever designed this system could hardly have made it less accessable. In times of sickness and stress the families don't need this nightmare.
To all of you who care for a loved one, my thoughts are with you and try to reach out to those who can help.
