Hi Suzi,
The love of my life was diagnosed almost 4 years ago and over that time the demands on me as a carer gradually increased to the stage where I can longer work.
In the early days of her treatment she was subjected to all kinds of tests, treatments, scans and medications. Then came the surgery, radiotherapy and chemo. Then the side effects come... pain, nausea, physical changes. Throw in the uncertainty of whether this treatment will even work. Enough to make anyone angry and frustrated. Any wonder that cancer patients aren't always nice people. But cancer carer's aren't always nice people either.
I lost the love of my life less than a week ago. In the week before she died we had an incident where I thought she was being so unreasonable that I had to leave the room for some breathing space (for both of us). It worked and we were able to tell each other we were sorry. The short break gave us both time to reflect on what was important. I would hate to think that one of our last memories was a conflict where we both said things we'd regret later.
Caring for anyone with an uncertain future IS hard work. But you have to remember that this is cancer acting, not the person you fell in love with. This is where YOU fight the cancer. Don't be scared to get help, the bigger your army, the better chance you have of defeating the enemy.
The day may come when you don't have to care for them any more. I hope for your partner and you that day never comes. I would do anything to have just one more day with my Mary.
