Relationship with husband with prostate cancer

[Val71]

My husband and I have been married for 50 years. We have been together longer than that , since I was a 14 year old school girl.  I always knew that sex was the key to our marriage as even though we had our share of arguments  and some difficult times when our  business was  struggling, we always made up and have enjoyed many many great times , travelling the world and enjoying our grandchildren . This last year has been a very difficult one , made worse by CoVid lockdowns. We sold our 5acre property in Melbourne and our beach house on the Bellarine to buy a 4acre property  on the  Bellarine.  I felt our life was going to be wonderful . He had his space and I had life on the coast 

Then he was diagnosed with prostate and bad hormone therapy  and 40 sessions of radiotherapy , which involved travelling the 1.5 hours to Melbourne and back each weekday for 8 weeks.  We are now in the last week if that treatment , although his hormone therapy will continue.   His attitude towards me has become increasingly worse.  He now says I am making him worse , despite my efforts to cater for his every whim    He shows me absolutely no affection or warmth - I have to force him to give me a hug - which he usually pushes me away.  I have sat and cried  on my own.  If he discovers  me , he yells and blames me for all manner of things.  I just don’t know what to do any more.  I don’t want to involve my children.  My friends are all in Melbourne and therefore in lockdown and I haven’t had a chance to meet people locally or to  join a gym etc down here because of CoVid.  That’s why I’m writing here. Are there other women going through the same thing? Are there women who have been through this and have come through it ? How did they manage it ?  Thank you. Val 

[sch]

Hi Val71,

I'm very sorry to hear about your husband, and especially the effect that this his had on your relationship with him.

Cancer has many effects on people. Physically, psychologically and emotionally.

While both men and women can be angry after diagnosis and during treatment, I will concede that it more often than not, is men are impacted who take it out on their loved ones.

If you do a search on "anger" in the on search bar, unfortunately, you will find pages of results from people who have had loved ones who sometimes react with anger after or during a cancer diagnosis.

I hope things get easier for you Val.

-s

[Beanz2020]

Thanks for the tip re search bar

[Beanz2020]

I’m going through a similar situation. There are FB prostate wives groups that you might find helpful. I found the cancer council very helpful to talk too. When I take a break away from my husband my spirits lighten so I try to get away when I can, walking or swimming. Also I go for massages which is great to loosen up all the tension in my body from coping with all this.

My husband has advanced prostate cancer and refuses all treatment, he is withering away before my eyes. He has decided strict detoxing will cure him so he is extremely thin and quite irrational and angry.