Sister has stage iv breast cancer - support for her 14 year old daughter

[MRC]

My sister has been receiving chemo for her stage IV breast cancer for the last 5 months.  Surgery and radiation is not an option, chemo is the only med at this time, unless they find a cure for her type of cancer.  My question is complicated.  My sister chose to have a daughter 14 years ago by artificial means.  My sister is also gay, but has not been in a relationship since she had her daughter.  She has not shared either piece of information with her daughter.  I have told my sister that she needs to share this information with her daughter now so that her daughter can ask her questions, if she has them, and that her daughter has a right to know.  My husband and sister disagree, they do not believe my niece needs to be told her mother is gay and she was born from artificial means.   Although my sister has not shared this information, she believes, upon her passing, that her daughter could "connect" with her siblings at a later date.  I don't even know if this is true?  She has mentioned this to MY 27 year old daughter, that she would want her to help her daughter with a sibling search.   I have a hard time with some of my sister's thought processes.  My husband and I would be the guardians upon my sister's passing. 

[iloveyoudearly7]

Hello,

I understand how this may be frustrating for you and the other individuals involved but unfortunately in this current period of time, all you really can do is offer advice/options to your sister and respect your sister's current wishes.

Perhaps you can suggest about creating some form of kit? Which contains all the necessary documentation, files, contact details and general information. That the daughter will need, when the time becomes suitable for her to receive it? (Based upon the mother's wishes).

You can still gather the information and have everything in place, without needing to providing it to the daughter, just yet.

I hope everything works out for you.