Struggling with the uncertainty of mum's cancer

[bleepboop]

Hi all

My mum was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in 2016, with spread to the bone marrow and the peritoneum. These past three years have been pretty up and down with chemo. Currently, my mum is still working full time, however, she has a build-up of ascites in her abdomen that she needs to get drained every couple of weeks. Last year was probably the most difficult, with her being in ICU for a few days due to an internal bleed she had during a drain. Up until now, she's been on different types of chemos and basically we are in the process of seeing what is going to be the best option for her. 

I guess I'm just giving some context to why I'm posting (and I've never posted on a forum before so I'm not sure what to expect!). In all honesty, things have been really difficult. Seeing your mum change from a strong woman who was always on her feet to someone who now struggles is a really distressing thing to witness. In saying this, however, she is an incredibly strong woman and really does try to maintain the most normal life that she can. 

I was wondering if anyone has advice on how to cope with the uncertainty we face being a carer for someone who has cancer. I feel so anxious all the time, I feel guilty any time I'm not with her, and just feel like the not knowing and rollercoaster of a cancer diagnosis is so draining. My mum is my world, and I just really don't want to lose her or see her in pain 😞 

Thank you so much in advance for any advice/experiences you share, it really does mean a lot to me!!

[Katekat]

Sending hugs @bleepboop 🤗

Thank you for sharing what's going on for you and welcome!

This is definitely the place to share your experience and the most important thing to remember - you are not alone 💕

I'm also sending you an email with some information about our telephone support group for carer's, I think it would be perfect for you, right now.

-Kate

Cancer Council Online Community Manager

[Iyana271]

I understand that is really difficult condition for you and for your mother. It is nothing in your hands. But still, you can give your mother lots of love, care & mental support. It'll help her to cope up with the pain and relief from this hard condition. Miracles also exist in this world, I hope she'll get well soon. Sometimes our strong will power is really helpful to fight with any condition or disease.

Lots of love and best wishes!