Welcome to the family and friends group

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Re: Welcome to the family and friends group

This will be my first Christmas without my mum. My mum passed away on the 22nd of October 2010. Trying to think of what to say but all I can think of is, it's just so hard and I still can't believe mum is really gone. My thoughts go out to everyone who is struggling with cancer.
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Super Contributor

Re: Welcome to the family and friends group

Hiya Karen and Lorraine Head and neck cancers are tough to live with. I went out for lunch when I was having treatment and ate Jevity whilst everyone else had chinese. 🙂 The restaurant was good and didn't mind me having alternative food or discretely using my peg. Lorraine ..> I am just wondering if you organised at cafe's or restaurants ahead of attending regarding special arrangements. That might help save some hassles when you are out and about. take care Julie
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Occasional Contributor

Re: Welcome to the family and friends group

Hi Jules2 thanks for responding. To your question about prebooking with resturants etc. would you believe that was done on one occassion and when mum got there was told No, we only do it for those with special needs such as diabetes! How devastating that was for her - and us. As if it isn't obvious that mum has half her face missing! I was left with 2 options: become violent or become pro-active, I took the 2nd option and complained like hell until management sent a huge lot of flowers to mum as an apology. When will the day come when ´any special dietary requirements" will also include the needs of head and neck cancer requirements?
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Super Contributor

Re: Welcome to the family and friends group

Hi Lorraine I am a bit gobsmacked ... am someone that in the past has worked extensively in hospitality and cannot believe that people would be so unkind and uncaring. Course I am not disbelieving what you are saying. I hope that along with the flowers was a heartfelt apology! Not sure that head and neck patients will ever get a whole lot of considerationto be honest. We should because the treatments we undergo are horrific. They accommodate people who have allergies and reality is it takes not much time at all to vitamise something. I think what they have done is not exactly legal and if its not illegal it flaming well should be! Here's hoping you can find some good restaurants that are much more accommodating. Julie
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Occasional Contributor

Re: Welcome to the family and friends group

Yes, it is a bit unbelievable - more info: when we asked could we prepare some food, or heat up some soup mum took with her 'just in case' the answer: Can'enter the kitchen to warm things up because of OH&S regulations. Oh, I did consider taking this to the Anti discrimination board but thought of the emotional cost on mum.
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Super Contributor

Re: Welcome to the family and friends group

Lorraine They are correct re occ health and safety unfortunately, you wouldn't be allowed access and taking your own food raises all sorts of issues. Bit of a case of the world gone mad. The emotional cost is already very high ... just a difficult situation and one that is terribly difficult for your mother and you. I am fortunate in that I can eat mostly normal food, although that certainly wasn't the case on my diagnosis nor my for my prognosis. Although, i do tend to choose foods that taste reasonably well accompanied by a mouthful of water. Am grateful though because I know it could be far worse. take care Julie
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Occasional Contributor

Re: Welcome to the family and friends group

Your message really touched me... My dad is fighting terminal cancer a very aggressive brain tumour. He was diagnosed in July had had 2 lots of surgery and treatment and been told he has maybe 4 months. But what has amazed me through this is how brave and possitive he still is. He keeps telling us a day at a time!
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Occasional Contributor

Re: Welcome to the family and friends group

Your message really touched me... My dad is fighting terminal cancer a very aggressive brain tumour. He was diagnosed in July had had 2 lots of surgery and treatment and been told he has maybe 4 months. But what has amazed me through this is how brave and possitive he still is. He keeps telling us a day at a time!
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