When work & caring become too much

[RachelP]

I need your advice.  I feel so alone in some of the biggest decisions of my life.  I cannot continue working full-time and caring full-time.  My husband's doctor has told me to try to get my husband to tick off some of his bucket list now, as he will continue to deteriorate.  As it is he sleeps most of the day, in extreme paid, vomits etc.. I'm sure you know the drill!  Stopping work means selling our home or living extremely lean but I don't care anymore.  With what money we have I just want to take him and go and have experiences together, see things and live how we want to until the end.  As a workaholic, it comes hard to resign from work and as I'm sure you will understand, the safety net that your career provides is also hard to leave.  Choosing to make this major life change sees me "frozen" in time, it's difficult to breath! How do you give up the one thing that gives your life stability i.e., work!?  I know I cannot go on like this, wearing both hats, it's killing me!  Thanks in advance for your help 😞 

[little_stitcher]

Hi Rachael, I'm so sorry you have to go through this.  I was lucky enough to be able to keep working when my husband was going through chemo, but the thought of having to give up my job if he got really sick was there, and it was very scary.  Is there an option for you to go part time for a while, to make the change gradually?  Or could you talk to your boss or HR department about taking an extended leave of absence, so you don't loose touch completely? (You could always reassess later). Also, it may be that you would be eligible for a carer's allowance and other government assistance programs (home help etc.) if you did resign to become a full time carer- your husband's GP or the Cancer Council will know more about that.

Unfortunately only you can make the right decision, but know you have a community here to support you in whatever you choose.  Sending lots of huge hugs just for you.  Emily