Who else feels alone and helpless

[Shell16]

Wanting to reach out to others who feel at times alone and helpless. Currently struggling myself due to the recent diagnosis and changes that we have been hit with. Life just changed overnight. I would really love to hear other people’s stories around how your managing with your loved one’s cancer, how do you stay mentally sane whilst trying to stay strong for them. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

[Richard56]

Hi Shell16,

My name is Richard, I'm 68, 6 weeks ago I was diagnosed with bladder cancer, 4 weeks ago I had surgery to remove 2 tumors and biopsies were taken, however in a review post surgery I had found out I needed further surgery to remove more cancer, that surgery is next Monday the 30th.

I know now that cancer is certainly a complete life changing event, it wasn't until a week ago it finally hit me and I became depressed.

My partner who doesn't live with me is a nurse and still working at 67, she uplifts me and keeps me busy when she can, she makes sure that I know that she will be right beside me in my treatment and recovery process when that happens after my next surgery. 

Personally I know that I won't give up and neither will my partner for being there for me. When we are together there is no discussion about cancer, its about being pro active and doing things and keeping occupied, we do still discuss my symptoms though... its not easy when your life just completely changed in an instant. My GP has been a great help with me, I suggest you talk to your GP and discuss your feelings, I live alone, and that in itself is quite depressing when your sick, all I can say is talk to your GP, maybe counselling could be of some assistance for you. My GP prescribed antidepressants for me with the approval of my surgeon, now I can sleep reasonably ok. 

If you have family and or friends, perhaps seek their comfort, now my friends call me often to make sure I'm ok and to have a pleasant chat. 

I hope and pray your journey will be a positive one.

Be strong, stay strong.

Wishing you both all the very best.

Kind regards, Richard 

[Shell16]

Hi Richard,

Sorry to hear that you are going through this. Thank you for reaching out.  I am currently caring for my husband who has stage 4 lung cancer. Although he is stage 4 he is responding extremely well to chemo, immunotherapy and will commence radiation soon. He is doing well and still up and about. This has been a massive adjustment as u can appreciate. One day we are both going to work living life with no worries and bang we get hit with this. We r now 5 months in so finding a new normal. I guess things have hit home now a little more and im adjusting to this new way of living. Sometimes I just don’t know what the right thing is to do or say and trying to stay strong for the person I love whilst managing my own mental health can at times be a challenge. I feel selfish sometimes as I’m not the one with cancer. 

Thank you for your words of advice. I do have a good support network and family for both of us are there if we need. I’m very grateful for how things are progressing with his treatment and am not taking anything for granted. 

Im sending you positive vibes and well wishes for your journey. Stay positive as I am

starting to understand from others

the better the mind the better fight. 

All the very best to you and your partner. 

[Maddi_CCNSW]

Hi 

Getting a cancer a cancer diagnosis or supporting someone with a cancer diagnosis, is a life changing event, it can be scary and isolating.  It's good if you have friend, family or a supportive GP who can help you.  You can also look at the Cancer Council's website, they have some great resources, if you live in Australia, you can call the 13 11 20 number, that's manned by Allied Health workers, they will be happy to speak to you.  The most important thing is that you reach out for support.

Cancer Council NSW - Cancer Information and Support