Hi all,
I am in Geelong in Victoria. I am happy to chat / catch up with people.
The word 'widow' is confronting. I am 41 now and I'd never imagined facing widowhood this young, although I always knew on the statistics I'd probably outlive my husband.
My husband is currently doing better than expected, so although he wasn't supposed to make September this year (and his Super & Life insurance have now paid out) my gut feeling is that he'll do better than 'average'. He's healthy, still working and is tolerating treatment really well. He's had Sirtex therapy on his liver tumours which has been quite successful at significantly reduced his tumour load. After Easter we find out if a second shot at the Sirtex is possible.
Amy - I get what you mean about not wanting to burden friends and family. I do not speak to many people about how I am feeling / coping with this journey. Part of me doesn't want to go there - and part of me knows that if I do, I will crumble. I am strong because I have to be strong for my kids and for me. Like you, I don't think most people really understand. I have a good friend who has survived Breast Cancer and she has been fantastic help - she understands that practical help and distraction on nights alone make a big difference. I have another friend who was widowed due to cancer a couple of years ago, and she has been great at bouncing thoughts off (especially those uncharitable thoughts that I'd never share with others like - I wish this would all be over!).
LIfe does go on. As time goes on I am accepting that, and planning for two outcomes - a miracle outcome where he lives, and life on my own. Can't quite picture moving on with another partner yet, but I know that day will come too.
Happy to chat,
Von
